


Madness is a Place

by marenstella



Series: ~ W O N D E R L A N D ~ [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adopted Children, Alice in Wonderland References, American Mcgee's Alice AU, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Character Death, Fire, Friends are there to help, Hallucinations, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Keith needs all kinds of help, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Next Generation in last two chapters, Orphan Keith (Voltron), Platonic Romance, Romantic Friendship, Trauma, Wonderland, everyone is confused, forget-me-nots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 04:56:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13896729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marenstella/pseuds/marenstella
Summary: Beyond a shattered looking glass, fairytale becomes nightmare, imagination becomes delusion, toys become weapons, friend becomes foe and time is running out.How do you protect what is harmed by nothing?How do you help one torn between sanity and insanity?How do you follow if the place you want to go to is a state of mind?





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ## “Every adventure requires a first step. Trite, but true, even here.”

                                                                           

Keith’s life was like a fairytale. One day a nameless orphan dying of cold and starvation, the next, a boy clothed, bathed and well-fed, second in line to the riches of an important family in Oxford. It all had happened in a flash, the couple had found him in an alley and, after taking in the fragile form of the child, the woman scooped him into her arms carefully before she stepped into her carriage. They brought him to their house, declared that same day would be his new birthday and they named him Keith.

Takashi was the happiest he had ever been. In his lonely fourteen years of life, all that he wished for was a younger brother he could guide in life. To be fair, he wasn’t completely alone. He was friends with lots of kids: Matthew and Allura were children of colleges of his dad back in the University of Oxford and, though slightly younger, Hunk and Lance – the son of his nanny and his parents’ errand boy, respectively – were part of their friend group too. Nevertheless, they couldn’t stay forever at his house. All of them had families to go back to and around 6:00 pm, they’d all go back to their homes, leaving Takashi alone. But now he had a brother.

When Lance and Hunk met Keith, they didn’t really know what to think. Even though he was one year older than both, Keith was somehow smaller. He was thin, so thin you could see his bones stick out a little under his skin. His hair was darker than the night sky covered in smoke. His skin was as pale as snow, but had an unhealthy hue to it. The most unsettling part of him was, somehow, the pair of dark blue eyes, which had a glint that could only be matched by a wolf staring at its prey.

It just took around two months for Hunk to warm up to the new Shirogane, something that Lance wasn’t surprised about. His best friend had always been a very accepting boy and Lance couldn’t blame him for not seeing the danger coming from a mile away! Only he could see through Keith’s mask. Heck, Keith decided to take a black cat in, a cat that he named Rouge. Keith was evil and, to Lance’s dismay, only he could tell.

This started to change around one year later. It was a rare day where the sun was shining bright, making the grass seem greener than any other days. Takashi had gone with his father to the University of Oxford so he would get to know the place he would work at one day while Mrs. Shirogane was at a friendly meeting with the women from their neighborhood. It was the perfect day for Lance to just have fun with Hunk at the mansion with no need to behave since both Shiroganes were gone. And, as Hunk’s mother had said: ‘as long as nothing’s broken’.

Just as Lance was about to reach the entrance of the big house, he stopped, getting distracted by a shade of pure white that stuck out against the green grass and the blue skies. Running around in the garden was Keith, wearing an oversized nightgown that moved along to the wind. With an amused smile on his lips – something Lance thought was impossible for him to do up until now – he was following a little bunny around and, to his surprise, the animal didn’t look scared, playfully dodging Keith’s attempts of picking him up before turning back towards the human boy. For once, Keith didn’t look evil at all so he approached.

“H-Hey, Keith.”

Keith turned around, the dangerous glint back in his eyes.

Nope.

Lance ran away.

-

“He didn’t mean to scare you!”

“How do you know that?!”

“Because I actually know Keith.” Hunk pouted before taking a bite out of the bread his mother had given him to satisfy his hunger until lunch time came around. Lance huffed in response but said nothing else so Hunk decided to keep going. “He really isn’t mean! He just…isn’t…normal. He works in a different way than us-” The tanned boy rolled his eyes, seemingly not believing his best friend. “If you gave him a chance, you’d see he’s nice! Then we could all play together!”

“Nope! Nu-uh! Not happening!”

“What’s not happening?”

Both boys screeched, loudly. Lance jumped, turning around and gripping the edge of the table while Hunk just fell off his chair. Keith stood in the doorway, just behind the place Lance had been.

“Keith! Don’t sneak up on us like that!” Hunk scolded, frowning as he stood up and put the chair back in its place.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Keith apologized, walking past Lance to get a chair. “I thought you had noticed me.” He looked towards Lance, who tensed up and started trembling a little. “I’m not sorry I scared you though. You deserved it.”

“Huh?” The brown haired boy stopped trembling and furrowed his eyebrows, genuinely confused and a little bit insulted. “Why did I deserve it? What did I do!?”

“You scared off Mr. Rabbit! I was trying to get him to take me to the White Rabbit.” Keith pouted and climbed onto the chair to reach the counter. Once he did, he grabbed the cookie jar to take a biscuit out. The other two children exchanged glances. Hunk smiled a little and Lance could see that he was trying to, in a way, ask him to have a little patience with the nonsense he was being thrown at. “Now there’s no way to return and I don’t know if the Knave of Hearts is fine or not.”

“The…Knave?”

“Yes, everyone was saying he was guilty of stealing the Queen of Heart’s tarts just because the White Rabbit showed them a poem that made no sense and wasn’t written by him!” Keith closed the lid. “And even then, somehow the King saw a confession in it! It was crazy, I tried to explain why it made no sense and they didn’t listen, they only wanted to find someone to blame!” Keith got down from the chair. “Even the Queen said her methods were to sentence first and the verdict came later! I don’t know what they did with the Knave after I left.” He put the chair back near the table. “I’m curious, though not really excited to go back. But either way I can’t because you of all people chased the rabbit—” Keith tensed slightly. Both boys were staring at him. Hunk looked panicked as if he had just heard someone tell his most private secret. Lance looked worse though – his expression being something among the lines of fear and bewilderment. “…away.”

The silence was deafening. Uncomfortable. Borderline painful. No one spoke for a minute. But then the silence was broken…not in the way Hunk hoped it would.

“…You’re…insane.” Lance commented, taking a step back. Keith winced, frowning and looking down at his feet. Silence took over again but before Hunk could even think of anything to say, the oldest child turned around and ran away.

“Lance…”

“What in the world was that all about?” The tanned boy turned to his best friend. “Was that what you meant by ‘he doesn’t work the same way we do’? If it was, well that is very much apparent! He’s nuts!”

“He just has a big imagination!”

“My mom told me to be careful around fairies, mermaids, witches, shadow men, but you know what she never told me to be careful about? White Rabbits that lead me to a crazy world! Why? Because they don’t exist!” He groaned, throwing his arms up. “I just don’t get why Takashi and you are so ok with this! It’s scary even! He—”

“His parents died after he was born and the rest of his family abandoned him for those weird tales he told.” Lance froze in place, jaw hanging open in the middle of a word. He was rendered speechless for the first time in his life. “Mr. and Mrs. Shirogane know and so does mom…” Hunk rubbed the back of his head. “But that’s why no one really calls him out on it. At least not for now. They want him to believe family loves you no matter what.”

Lance felt horrible. What kind of family would abandon a member like that? He couldn’t even begin to imagine since his family was very close. Even with money problems that were natural to a family of eight (two parents and six children), none of his relatives would ever think of leaving someone behind, especially not over a weird fever dream or whatever. The concept of family abandonment felt unnatural, abnormal, completely backwards. And Keith had to live through it.

That was the reason why Keith glared at them when they met and why he was so untrusting towards people. He couldn’t trust those who were supposed to love him and take care of him, they had abandoned him with no remorse over something so little. For Keith to trust, people had to prove they were someone he could count on and, while Hunk had made continued efforts to befriend Keith, Lance had done nothing but antagonize him. All right, yeah, he definitely felt horrible now.

Meanwhile, Hunk just stared, still eating his bread. He knew his best friend like the palm of his own hand so he was internally counting down to Lance’s inevitable guilt breakdown. And, as if the universe was watching, just as the brown skinned boy popped the last piece of bread into his mouth, Lance started to cry. In less than a minute, what started as a few tears turned into heavy sobbing and ugly crying. Three. Two.

“I was a-awful! K-K-Keith d-didn’t d-deserve it! A-And I thought he w-was mean f-f-for so long…! I-I was the mean one all along…!”

One. Hunk stood up, walked over to Lance and placed a supporting hand on his shoulder. “We’ll fix this, all right?” Lance’s blue eyes were full of tears and snot was running down his nose. It wasn’t a pretty sight but Hunk didn’t shudder, simply giving Lance a kind smile.

“R-Really?”

“I have a plan.”

-

Before he could even reach Keith, the black haired child had already turned his head around to face him.

As Lance struggled to find the courage he first had felt when he left his hiding place in the bushes – bushes Hunk was still hiding on – Rouge hopped off of Keith’s lap and sat next to his owner. In a fit of nervousness, the tanned boy looked back at the bushes for help. He watched as a brown hand came out from the middle of the leaves and made a ‘keep going’ motion. That didn’t really help Lance but Hunk had already done a lot so he wouldn’t dare to complain.

Looking back at Keith, Lance realized he was holding a stuffed ravvit close to his chest, a present given to him by Takashi. Keith was rarely seen without it and in it he saw a conversation starter.

“I-I heard you liked stuffed toys…s-so here!” Without wasting another second, Lance crouched down in front of Keith and showed him a hand-sized stuffed toy, a red cat-like creature with yellow and white markings entirely made out of yarn. Keith’s eyes went wide, leaning forward a little to inspect the new soft toy that the tanned boy was offering. “It’s…for you. I made it myself! Hunk described one of the creatures you told him about. You know…h-habitants from Wonderland.” Lance looked down at his hands, frowning a little as the shame for his actions took over. “I’m… really sorry for what I said.” He said, his tone becoming quieter, more personal. “Really. I-I know you won’t just accept my apology out of nowhere but, m-maybe, you know, one day, we could be—” Lance looked up, their eyes meeting.

For the first time in his life, he could no longer see the wolf ready to kill its prey.

Instead, he saw the big, curious eyes of one that saw so much more than what their dull little world could offer.

His eyes were the loveliest shade of grayish blue.

“Woah.”


	2. Chapter 1 - Fairytale Becomes Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ## “You were a distant and stubborn child, too content in his own world. Young men need to leave their Wonderlands. The real world is not so wonderful. You’ll need to grow up.”
> 
> ## 

“And this is how you tie a ribbon.” Takashi pulled on the ends of the strip, finally tying the ribbon around the collar of Keith’s shirt.

“Thanks…” Keith murmured, pulling on his collar a little since he didn’t like how tight he had to feel to look ‘presentable’ on a high-society party.

It was Takashi’s sixteenth birthday, the second birthday Keith was present to witness. Their family was holding a party in the gardens, a nice little familiar gathering with a few of his dad’s colleges, neighbors and the kids of those invited. Keith honestly wasn’t excited for such a party, as much as he loved and admired Takashi. He didn’t often get along with people in general and he would rather keep his small group of friends (consisting of three people – Hunk, Takashi and Lance) than to find more people to socialize with.

“Do I really have to go?” Keith asked, looking up at his big brother, who had moved to stay in front of a mirror to fix his jacket. Takashi looked at Keith’s reflection and raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like I don’t want to go, it’s just that the other kids think I’m weird and Hunk and Lance can’t come.”

“You can hang out with me though. I’m good company, right? Or am I too tedious for your majesty?” He teased, a little smirk showing up in his lips as he turned to face his little brother.

Keith just stared indifferently and crossed his arms. “Allura will be around.”

“And? What does Allura have to do with anything?”

“Last time Allura was at a party with us, you tripped over me because you were so busy looking at her.” The teenager blushed and the child couldn’t help but smirk a little in triumph.

Before Takashi could think of some way to deny his crush on the beautiful girl, Keith grabbed the little top hat his parents had bought just for the occasion, put it on and looked up at his older brother. “Don’t worry about me, good luck with Allura.” And, after grabbing his rabbit, he was off. Takashi was left alone, wondering if his crush was so obvious that even a seven year old could easily pick up on it or if Keith was simply a special child in more senses than one.

-

Katie had already heard a lot about Keith, the younger brother of her brother’s best friend. She had seen him quite a few times too since the Holts liked to visit the Shiroganes every chance they got. However, she’d mostly stay by her mother’s side in those visits and watch Keith play with other two boys in the gardens through the window. So it wasn’t an understatement to say that Katie was at least a bit interested in befriending him, especially since, just like people didn’t like Keith, people didn’t like her.

That’s why when the black haired boy came to sit under the tree she was currently hiding on, she didn’t waste her chance. After making sure her legs were tightly wrapped around the branch, she hung upside down from the tree, near Keith.

“The other kids don’t like you either?” Keith tensed up and turned around, startled by the voice he wasn’t expecting to hear. Immediately after, he brought his hands up to cover his eyes since her dress had fallen down to her neck, exposing her undergarments.

“E-Everyone can see your undergarments!”

“Oh… Well, yeah, I guess they can.” The little girl grabbed onto the branch again and pulled herself up, sitting correctly on it. Then, she turned her head to look at the boy and smiled a little. “I’m Katie. I prefer Pidge though.”

“Pidge?” The girl made a small approving sound and jumped down, landing next to Keith before she sat next to him. “Wait… Katie… you mean… Matt’s younger sister?”

“That’s me. It’s nice to meet you.” She reached her hand out but instead of waiting for him to kiss the back of her hand, like other girls had done, she grabbed his and shook it firmly. Keith smiled a little.

“Yeah. Same.” He pulled his hand away and then he remembered how she had introduced herself. “…kids don’t like you either?”

“Nope. I’m too weird for them, creep them out with thoughts.” Pidge rolled her eyes and leaned back so her back could rest against the tree trunk. “Girls hate to hang out with me; the ones in the neighborhood never forgave me after I brought a toy train instead of a doll to their tea party. «A train can’t be your daughter, silly».” She groaned. “And I’m pretty sure I scared off all the boys after I said my favorite thing to do was to watch the machines at the train station. So, yes, I’m left out too.”

“Huh. Is that why you didn’t care that everyone could see your undergarments?”

“Sort of. It’s more like a way of trying to get my parents to let me use shorts instead of dresses. If they let me wear shorts, they wouldn’t have to worry about me _accidentally_ showing my undergarments.” Katie explained, messing with the ends of her skirt. Keith just nodded his head in understanding. Though first surprised with his reaction – or lack thereof – the girl smiled in contempt. She could get used to this: friends, people besides Matt and Takashi that wouldn’t look at her weirdly for not wanting to be what society deemed proper for a female.

They kept talking, just getting to know each other. Eventually they got to the conclusion both were very interested in new inventions and machines, even if for different reasons. Pidge was really fascinated with how they worked and how they were built, claiming she wanted to learn how to build things herself once she got older. Keith, on the other hand, was interested in what they did and how easy they made some things look. He came to realize trains were really Pidge’s favorite thing in the whole world. Meanwhile, she found out Keith liked typewriters of all things – when asked why, Keith claimed he thought the sound they made was calming.

When they spoke of hobbies, Katie confessed she loved to dance and to read, normally, when in company of her brother. He was the one that taught her to do both of those and they often did one or the other when he had free time. She was a skilled dancer from what her mother said, though she was sure Matt could disagree on that from the amount of times his feet had been stepped on. Reading was her true passion but she didn’t need to be older to understand that, in their current time, the fruit of knowledge was accessible to Adam but not to Eve.

Katie was not surprised at all when Keith told her his favorite thing to do was drawing – she would be rather disappointed if the one deemed ‘mad as a hatter, without the charm’ by the other kids was not able to put the things he saw into paper. She was simply not expecting the fact Keith had been blessed with talent. She wouldn’t say the drawings were perfect but it was much better than anyone else she had ever met. If the Shiroganes didn’t try to shove college down the boy’s throat and Keith kept practicing, she believed he would turn out a famous artist without a doubt.

The drawings themselves were very interesting too. Katie could say there were two types of drawings in the notebook. Some drawings were of familiar people and animals, all kinds of objects one could find in a high-society home, landscapes that he had seen in photographs, and lots of flowers – forget-me-nots in particular (Pidge could only guess they were his favorite). The other drawings were of things Pidge had never seen, things she was sure were of Wonderland: a grinning cat, card soldiers, a rabbit in a waistcoat, bottles that said ‘Drink Me’, cakes marked with ‘Eat Me’, fauna and flora she could have never pictured in her mind until now and, lastly, the most beautiful sceneries she had ever seen.

“So, this is Wonderland?” Pidge asked, pointing at a drawing. It was, for what she could guess, a floating valley with tall trees, rocks and grass. A river was present and, since the drawing depicted one of the edges of the valley, the water fell, forming a waterfall. In the horizon, the blue of the sky and the green of the land bellow merged together and no one could tell where they began and ended, especially thanks to the amount of clouds. Floating around in the air were dice and dominoes.

“No, that’s only a part of Wonderland! The Vale of Tears!”

Keith and Katie turned around, both confused at the third voice that interrupted their conversation.

“Even if you’re right and it is the Vale of Tears, you aren’t supposed to be here.” Keith warned with a slight reprimanding tone. On the other side of the cast iron fence were the other two boys, Lance and Hunk.

“I told him that but he didn’t listen!” Hunk whispered, trembling in fear at the thought of getting found out. If they did, they would embarrass the Shiroganes during a party and his mother could get fired and they’d never be able to see Keith again or play at the big cool house and—

“Hunk, relax! They won’t find us out. Believe me for once!” Lance said, dismissively, as he sat down on the sidewalk and leaned his side on the fence. Hunk, on the other hand, stayed standing, ready to run if someone were to see them there. He turned towards Keith “Also, really? No smile for me? No ‘you’re right’? You got all happy when _Hunk_ managed to connect your description of the place to a drawing!”

“Hunk didn’t do it at a party he wasn’t supposed to be at.”

“Oh come on, Keith, we wanted to make sure you weren’t all alone!”

“I’m Katie.” The girl presented herself, turning to Hunk as Keith and Lance kept throwing quick replies back and forth. “Katie Holt. The other kids don’t like me either.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Pidge. I’m Hunk and the loud one’s Lance.” Hunk showed her a warm smile and she smiled back. “Welcome to the group.”

“The group? You mean…I can come by and play with you guys from now on?”

“Well, _duuuh_.” Apparently Lance really had been listening as he bickered. Impressive. “Keith trusted you enough to show you his drawings of Wonderland so you’re officially our buddy now!” He announced, crossing his arms with a proud grin on his face. “I’ll have to make you a lion.”

“A…lion?” She asked, tilting her head. Lance just nodded, not answering her question so she looked at the others for help. “What does he mean ‘a lion’?”

“Keith’s Wonderland has these cool lions that come in various colors—” Keith searched through his notebook and opened on a page with the lions Hunk had just mentioned. They looked like bigger lionesses, their height passing the size of an average human. Besides that, all of them had a main color and then their legs and their forehead had white and yellow markings of different shapes and sizes. “—and since only we know about them, they kind of became our symbol? So Lance wanted to knit stuffed toys for us in the shapes of those lions: a black one for Takashi, a white one for Allura, a yellow one for me, a red one for Keith, a blue one for himself and—”

“And that’s why I need your favorite color!” Lance interrupted, earning a sigh and a small smile from Hunk, who just let it go, and Keith, who smacked the back of Lance’s head with his notebook.

“Let Hunk speak for once, you _goose_.”

As Keith and Lance had a small glaring contest, Katie pondered which color she wanted for her lion. Should she go with purple? She liked purple… it was the color of the dress she was wearing. But she wouldn’t say it was her favorite. So what was it? She wanted something that represented luck – since it was luck that Keith had sat down in the tree she was playing at. 

In the end, she chose green. Like a clover.

-

Forget-me-nots were a curious flower for Keith. They had been the first flower Keith had learned the name of since the garden of the Shiroganes was covered in them. There were other flowers but an overwhelmingly amount of them were of that kind. When Keith asked Takashi why his parents liked them so much, the older brother confessed that his parents didn’t care much for the type of flower in their garden as long as everyone would always have it in their minds. So, who planted so many forget-me-nots? Who had transformed the green field into a blue and white meadow?

Lance. Lance had done it. The Shiroganes had asked him for flower seeds and the boy – four years old at the time – bought nothing but forget-me-not seeds. Only forget-me-nots. The adults were originally confused as to why he would only buy those but Takashi was there to remind them, chuckling: _they asked for their garden to always be remembered so Lance bought them forget-me-nots_. 

Lance himself was the one that told Keith the story while he taught him how to make flower crowns. “Not bad for your first time” Lance had commented before going quiet as Keith put his first crown on his head. The tanned boy smiled and laughed after he recovered from the initial shock, before turning to Keith and asking if the blue fit him. Keith smiled softly, nodding.

The following day, the White Rabbit told Keith that he had found a field full of forget-me-nots hidden behind a waterfall in Wonderland Woods. _How very curious._

“Are you listening, Keith?” The eyes of the younger one tore away from the vase full of forget-me-nots resting on his bedside table. No, he hadn’t been listening. But instead of being mad at Keith for not paying attention – something Hunk’s mother and Mr. Shirogane had started to do – Takashi just smiled softly, patient as always, and asked his first question again. “I asked if you had liked the party.”

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought.” He replied honestly. Takashi’s smile got bigger. “I got to meet Katie. And Lance and Hunk showed up. They made me company.”

“Yeah, I saw them there… I’m glad you had fun.” He reached forward and ruffled his brother’s black hair a little. “Katie was also really happy. She was hoping to meet you guys for a while now.”

“She’s cool.” He confessed, getting comfortable in his bed. “Did you like it, Tashi?” The question was met with silence, something really uncharacteristic for the young man. The child looked at his older brother to see Takashi’s brows furrowed in an expression Keith had never seen him done before. Was it frustration? Anger? Discomfort? Or maybe a combination of the three. “…Takashi?”

“Uh… Yeah, I liked it.” Takashi smiled, trying to fix the nervousness he provoked on Keith. “Could’ve been better but I’m fine.”

“Did Allura reject you?” Keith joked, trying to distract his brother from whatever had made him sad during the party.

“Actually… dad talked to Alfor during the party and they reached a conclusion about us. My engagement with Allura will be official by the end of the year.” Keith gasped, sitting up. He was not expecting that.

“What? No way… Really?! You’re going to get to get engaged to the girl you’ve been crushing on since _forever_?”

“Don’t put it like that!” Takashi complained, a blush creeping on his cheeks. Keith pushed the covers aside, smirking and getting on his knees on the bed.

“Don’t put it like _what_? You know it’s the truth.”

“Oh shut it.” The teen grabbed the soft pillow resting on the bed and hit his brother with it, making the younger male fall over, laughing. As Keith grabbed onto the pillow and hugged it close to his chest, the teen’s heart melt at the sight, remembering the state Keith had once been in. The healthy boy with a big grin on his face looked nothing like the hungry one that had been taken in on that fateful October night. Smiling gently, Takashi picked him up and brought him to his lap. The boy looked up at his brother, curious. “My heart is open. Never closed, never locked. You will never need a key.”

A million thoughts ran through Keith’s head, all at the same time, all about the things he could say. However, he wasn’t the best at speaking and, as people said, actions spoke louder than words. He wrapped his arms around Takashi’s neck, tightly. “Same, Tashi.” He whispered. The older brother couldn’t help but chuckle and return the hug.

-

 _The lions were finished_. It had taken nine months but finally all the lions were done and ready to be delivered to their rightful owners. Lance was the most excited he had ever been in months. Even his older sister, the one that worked at a sewing factory, was jealous of his knitting skills! He could already imagine Keith’s face once he saw his Wonderland creatures brought to the real world, where everyone could appreciate them and hold them. Everyone else would love them too; he was sure since he had made them extra cuddly and fluffy.

The streets were busier than usual for some reason. People looked restless and there was a weird smell of burnt wood in the air. Maybe a fire had happened in the forest and a few houses had been endangered during the night. It was only a guess since every house he passed by seemed to be doing just fine.

He stopped. Was the roof of the Shirogane mansion ever _that_ dark?

-

Hunk had been woken up in the early morning with his mother screaming for him to get dressed. He hadn’t even realized what was happening, just that his mother was panicking and they had to get somewhere fast. If it weren’t for his mother’s frequent overreacting, he would’ve actually feared that someone was dead or something. And then he realized that someone was really dead.

It had taken him five to ten minutes of running to get to the Shirogane household and he couldn’t believe his eyes. A fire. An enormous fire. A fire so big you couldn’t see in through any of the windows; if you tried, you either saw flames or too much smoke. His mother immediately approached the Holts and the Walkers, two families who had gotten there before them. He approached Katie.

They just stared wide eyed, tears being impossible to hold back. ‘I heard their screams’ Hunk heard Katie’s mom admit to his own mom, immediately followed by Katie’s father trying to smooth the women’s cries with ‘The children’s bedrooms are full of smoke. They must’ve died peacefully in their sleep’. Hunk couldn’t move. Allura’s sobbing was uneven, her hands joined in prayer, hoping her lover’s soul would cross peacefully into the afterlife.

Bits of the roof collapsed everywhere. The roof of Keith’s bedroom completely gave out. Hunk flinched, letting out a tearful gasp. Pidge just stared in horror, unmoving, not wanting to believe what she was seeing.

Even many years later, no one would be able to tell what it was. Dumb luck? Or maybe unforgiving misfortune. The deed of a forgiving or an unforgiving God? No one could tell. The fact was that Keith was alive. 

He walked out from behind the house, through the garden, stumbling, weak. At first everyone thought they were seeing a ghost - the confused soul of a child that had a whole life ahead of him - but no, he was alive and they could tell by the deep, tired breaths the boy took. Now, first degree burns were bad but not the worst. However, they were a nightmare if they were covering your whole body…like Keith’s were. There wasn’t a bit of skin where his once light tone wasn’t disturbingly red. He somehow wasn’t crying, maybe he was still trying to understand what had just happened and why everything hurt now. He didn’t make a sound; it was all too quiet, until he fell at Allura’s feet, shaking erratically in the snow.

Keith’s screams of horrid pain and heartbreak would never be forgotten by the ones who were present.

-

He didn’t think. He couldn’t think, he just ran. He pushed people in his way as he muttered small ‘excuse me’s and ‘coming through’s. His breathing got heavier, he ran faster and as he ran faster the more tired he became. He didn’t care. There was no way right? The day before came to mind. It had gone so well. Keith’s dorky smile when Lance asked him about his Wonderland, Takashi and Allura’s hand holding in the garden and their shy peck on the lips, Lance’s contented sigh when he thought about his future wife and Pidge’s noise of disgust were the best reactions to the public display of affection. The delicious cake that Mrs. Shirogane had done to celebrate the planned engagement - the cake that must’ve still been on the counter -, Keith’s lesson that Mr. Shirogane was kind enough to let Lance attend, the way Keith had sat close to him and tried not to laugh as Lance whispered stupid jokes into his ear.

He stopped. Took in the sight.

_Everything was burnt._

He slowly moved around the house. Keith’s room was in the back. He wanted to see the damage.

_The smell of burnt wood was nauseating._

Hunk and Pidge were there. They heard him approach. They turned to look.

_God, what happened?_

The silence hurt.

_Everything had been fine._

The garden wasn’t destroyed. Except one place.

_How did it come to this?_

“Keith landed here when he jumped out the window.” Katie sniffled, trying to recollect herself. “He’s in critical condition.”

_Forget-me-nots were burnt._


	3. Chapter 2 - Imagination Becomes Delusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ##  “Another day, another dream, perhaps.” 

Two lions rested on top of his dresser. They stood side by side but the head of the red lion had fallen slightly to the right, looking as if it was tired and decided to lean on his friend for help. Ironically, if they were alive, the blue one would be the one needing support since he wasn’t in the best shape – the stuffed toy had an honorable life, being used nonstop by a child seeking comfort. In contrast, the red one looked like it had never been used – and that was the case, the owner never got the chance to hold it, or see it, for that matter.

Eleven years had gone by since that fateful winter night of 63. Lance couldn’t help but cringe a little at the thought.

Life had gone by quick. After the fire, he had been offered a job as an errand boy to the Walkers and, in a matter of three years, the rich family decided to pay for his studies. Lance accepted the offer happily and got a general education, deciding college didn’t open any opportunities for careers he would like to take. So now the tanned boy ran a coffee shop on the rich side of London. He wasn’t as rich as the people that came to his establishment but he lived nicely and was even able to send money to his family back in Oxford. He was sort of a celebrity around the region since he had started as an errand boy before climbing his way up to the rank of butler to the heir to one of the richest families in Britain (the Walkers) and eventually opening up a relaxing place to do nothing but serve the rich.

Yes, time had flown by in all aspects… All aspects but one. Time passed excruciatingly slow in all matters regarding his lost best friend. ‘Lovely little Keith’ the newspaper called him. ‘Fire boy’ the public named him. ‘Crazy psycho’ was also heard associated to him.

Keith had been taken to Littlemore Infirmary after the fire. The Illustraded London News reported just a few days later that Keith’s recovery wasn’t ‘at all encouraging’ and that no visitors were expected – lies since Hunk, Pidge and he had tried many times to go visit their friend. The workers never let them in though. It also claimed measurements for his coffin had been taken and that his family was stored in an ice locker so they could be buried at the same time. Both statements were indeed true.

Against all odds, ‘lovely little Keith’ survived the burns but the trauma from the experience impacted him mentally and he was stuck in a catatonic state. At nine years old, a year later after the fire took everything away from him, he was sent to the Rutledge Private Clinic Asylum: Home of the Wayward & Lost Souls. He was put under the care of Dr. Q. Wilson.

Once again, they were forbidden to visit but luck was on their side since Katie’s father kept them updated. Being a friend of Dr. Wilson, Samuel wasn’t exactly shy to ask about the son of his now late best friend. The doctor didn’t disappoint, sending Samuel lots of letters explaining Keith’s developments in detail. Lance, Pidge and Hunk felt connected to their friend during the times her father would read the letters to them, even if his descriptions of what was happening were sickening.

Keith wasn’t treated with the upmost respect by the people of the asylum, staff and patients alike. He was deemed deaf, blind and dumb to all kinds of stimulation so why care for something that can’t make a sound? Even then, the stuffed rabbit Takashi had given him never left his hand, no matter how much they pulled, Keith wouldn’t let go of it. 

After four years of no improvement coming from Keith, the doctor stopped sending them letters.

Hope was lost. Hunk moved to London with his mother since she couldn’t find jobs in Oxford. He was too poor to send letters back so they lost contact. Katie and Lance’s relationship only strengthened, the two starting to see each other as siblings more than just best friends, especially after Matt left to study abroad.

Around 1872, Samuel got offered a job in London, a good paying job he couldn’t refuse. Though heartbroken, Katie had to go with her family to her new house but promised to stay in contact. Lance and Pidge sent letters to each other every month. After two months of her stay in London, she found Hunk and they reconnected again. Her letter read that Hunk was now ‘working on his mother’s pub, the Mangled Mermaid’ and ‘he’s as tall as Takashi now, it’s scary’. 

The 15th of September, 1873 was a day Lance would never forget. Katie’s letter was written in a hurry as if she wanted him to get the message as fast as possible. The paper had no formalities, no ‘Dear Lance’ at the beginning or ‘I hope to see you soon’ at the end. Just three words in the middle of the paper: ‘Keith woke up’.

Five days later, Lance arrived to London in the company of the Walkers. While Alfor made sure to buy Lance a house and a place for him to open his business at, Allura and Lance made their way to the Holt home. After a heartfelt reunion of the three friends and after Lance’s back recovered from the bone-crushing hug Hunk gave him, Katie explained the situation. Out of nowhere, her father had received a letter by Dr. Wilson updating on Keith’s condition. ‘After years of slumber, he chooses to speak to us with a picture, a drawing of some sort of cat.’ the doctor wrote in the letter that was sent along with Keith’s drawing. Lance couldn’t believe his eyes. After 10 years of not speaking and hardly moving, Keith had drawn _Cheshire Cat_ of all things. _Wonderland_ was alive. And so was Keith.

The Walkers didn’t even stay a week but Lance didn’t need much time to get used to life in London, especially with the company of his friends and the frequent news coming from Rutledge about Keith. Not all were good; for example, soon after he left his catatonic state, the only nice nurse of the hospital decided to sew the stuffed rabbit’s eye correctly. Keith apparently lost it and, when asked what was wrong, he had replied in rhyme. He only stopped sobbing when the nurse plucked the new eye from the rabbit. Strange.

Drawings kept coming. Drawings of Wonderland, they recognized. The illustrations covered Lance’s bedroom walls as a reminder of hope, even if the possibility for a return was little. Sometimes Keith mumbled nonsense, sometimes Keith refused to eat, sometimes Keith spoke in rhyme, sometimes it seemed like Keith wasn’t actually Keith but someone else. Wilson’s descriptions of words or actions were nonsense and insanity to him and Mr. Holt but Lance, Pidge and Hunk knew better. They recognized a few things – not everything but a few keywords – and it was clear to them that Keith was lost in his Wonderland. Maybe lost beyond saving.

And then, one day, like magic, out of absolute nowhere, they receive a last letter, for once not directed to Samuel.

> “Dear Ms. Holt, Mr. McClain and Mr. Garrett,  
>  It is with utmost joy and extreme confusion that I declare that your dear friend Keith Shirogane is free to leave the mental institution. No one can explain why or how but after a month of normality, we have concluded he is sane enough to leave.  
>  It was an interesting journey and I wish you and him the best,  
>  Heironymous Q. Wilson”

And that was the reason why Lance’s bakery wouldn’t open today. Katie, Hunk and he were going to see their long lost friend, who had left the Asylum just two days before. Nurse Pris Witless, an old worker from Rutledge, was kind enough to find Keith a workplace and a home in Houndsditch Home for Wayward Youth, a shelter for unfortunate children run by Dr. Jack Seward, a ‘respectable social architect and scientist’ as it was commonly said.

After making sure his appearance was the best it could be, he grabbed the red lion and a bouquet of forget-me-nots. Then, he was off.

-

It was a common two-story brick building. If it wasn’t for the copper sign that read the name of the home and the name of Doctor Seward, no one would be able to tell it was an institution looking to help children. Even if tall, the building looked small for the amount of kids it housed. It had a cast iron fence but no garden.

“Any thoughts?” Lance asked, not sure what to think of the place. Looking at his friends, they didn’t seem to know what to think either.

“It’s… a little small if it does house thirty three children like Pris said. But then again Pris is known for lying sometimes.” Katie commented, her nose scrunching up a little at the foul smell that her sophisticated nose was foreign to.

“Mom said there really are thirty three children here.” Hunk confirmed, rubbing the back of his head. “Might not be perfect but remember we’re in the East End. It’s poor, it’s overcrowded, it’s…” His eyes followed a dirty prostitute pass by them. “…filthy.”

“I noticed.” Katie remarked, hiding a little behind Lance. It was an intimidating place for a fourteen year old for sure; he didn’t blame her for hiding. Even he wanted to hide. To be honest, he was still trying to find out how Hunk managed to live there without throwing up every second since he had always been the one with a weak stomach.

“Well, what the heck are we waiting for?” Lance sighed, taking a few steps forward in direction of the door. “Let’s go see our buddy.”

The door was closed since it was a cold day of January so the tanned boy knocked. In a matter of seconds, it opened but instead of being the caretaker of the children coming to get the door, it was one of the kids themselves. Not really safe but Lance decided to push his feelings of uneasiness to the side for now. The little boy in front of them didn’t speak and just kept staring.

“Um…hi there.” Hunk started and waved with a small nervous smile on his lips. “We’re… here to see our friend. Keith. Do you know him?”

“You lookin’ for doctor’s _pet_?” The three teenagers tensed up at the snarky response, surprised with the nickname the kid had for Keith.

“Are you talking about Keith?” Lance asked after he recovered from the initial surprise, eyebrows furrowed in frustration over the nickname. He was honestly sick and tired of hearing people give his friend yet another nickname, as if his whole existence could be summarized by it.

“Yeah, got a problem with that?” He walked in but he left the door open so the three could enter. And so they did. “Stay here, I’ll go call ‘im.” The kid that got the door then walked into a hallway and disappeared from their sight to go get Keith.

The lobby was spacious – at least that – but it was a complete mess. To their right was a big table, absolutely covered in pots and plates. There were also bookshelves full of books on that side. Blank pages the kids could use to draw covered the floors. To their left were a few toys, dolls, a dollhouse, a small rocking horse, cards and a piano. There were also a few couches, more bookshelves and a fireplace with a picture of Dr. Seward and some of the children of the home. In this part of the house were ten children, who decided to look at the same time at the three strangers that had just entered. Silence. If Lance had a coin for every awkward silence in his life, he’d be able to make his own river with gold for water.

The silence was broken by the sound of footsteps on the old wood. The three teens looked up and their mouths hung open.

There he was. _Keith_ was in front of them. The height difference had grown even more, probably due to his malnutrition during his time at Rutledge. He was a couple of inches shorter than Lance, the top of his head reaching Lance’s eyes. He was very thin again, so thin you could see his bones stick out a little under his skin. His long hair was a mess, badly cut as if he had cut it himself. His skin was as pale as snow and had its unhealthy hue back. His eyes looked a little lighter somehow but there was no glow to them. They looked scary to some extent but they didn’t provoke fear anymore, only pity from how exhausted and drained from any sort of happiness they were. Still, somehow, Keith managed to look… _gracious, delicate_ , Lance would even dare to say pretty or maybe even mysteriously stunning. _Haunting_ would be the word Lance would use to describe his old friend.

The brown haired boy gave a little sigh and then, as he recovered from the shock, he started to hear the other children whispering to each other.

“Too good for the asylum.”

“Mad as a hatter, without the charm.”

“Killed his family!”

“Who’d want him?”

Lance saw Keith’s gaze wasn’t focused on his three friends but the children. He didn’t look affected by what they were saying (he was probably past caring about insults by this point) but he had his arms wrapped around himself in a way that seemed defensive.

“Keith.” The tanned young ,man called and the black haired boy looked back at him, snapping of whatever thoughts were keeping him out of it. Lance smiled, walking over to him. He saw Keith flinch but he didn’t tear his eyes away and kept staring. Then, the youngest of the two stopped right in front of the oldest, reaching into the bag he brought and pulling out the flowers and the red lion. “…We missed you. Welcome back, buddy.”

Keith moved fast, pulling Lance into a tight hug. The brown haired oe couldn’t help but smile more as a few tears slipped out of his eyes and he hugged his friend back. After eleven years of suffering, he was back. Katie and Hunk approached and without a second thought Keith pulled them into the hug as well. The hug was tight as if the older boy was scared they would run away if he let go. Hunk ruffled Keith’s hair a little and Katie rubbed his back, both murmuring ‘It’s ok, now. You’re fine. We’re here. We’re glad you’re back’. Meanwhile, the children were confused; they didn’t understand why Keith could have what they couldn’t.

-

Keith’s room had a bed, a dresser, a rug, a shelf and a bookshelf with five books and nothing else. It was small, simple and dull and very different from the one from his childhood. The eighteen year old mentioned to his friends to walk in and make themselves comfortable so the first thing Katie did was sit down on the bed… it was stiff. She wondered if Keith felt uncomfortable on them or if he just didn’t care at this point. Lance sat next to her and Hunk just leaned against the door.

“Thanks for the flowers and the lion.” Keith thanked, putting his stuffed lion and the flowers on the top shelf of the bookshelf. “If it weren’t for them, this could pass by my room at the asylum.”

“No need to thank me, Keith~ I was hanging onto those for a long time.” The maker of the lion answered, smiling from ear to ear and resting his elbows on his knees. “It was about time I gave Red to its owner.”

Keith sat down on the ground. Katie was going to stand up to offer him a seat but he held his hand up and she stopped. “So…tell me about you. What did I miss all these years?”

“Well…” Hunk tapped his chin. “We all live in London now. I live near the docks. My mom has a pub there… uh… the Mangled Mermaid.” He grew a little uncomfortable. “It’s also a—”

“Pris told me. You don’t need to say it if you don’t want to.” Keith interrupted and Hunk gave him a kind and grateful smile. “I don’t judge her for doing what she had to do though. I might’ve just done the same if Pris hadn’t offered me this place.”

“Oh yeah, Pris mentioned that.” Hunk commented, remembering the conversation Pris had had with him. “You’re a housekeeper here, right?”

“Yes. But I don’t work to pay the room; I work to pay Dr. Seward.”

“Dr. Seward?” Katie asked, leaning forward so she could look at him better. “Why would you need to pay him?”

“I’m paying for his services. I want to forget the night of the fire so he’s treating me through hypnotherapy.” The three teens didn’t reply to that, not knowing what to say. The experience of the fire had put him through years of trauma but was it correct to just forget about such a problem? Would he even remember Takashi and his parents had died? But then again, those memories were still extremely painful to him so maybe it would be better to just forget. “But…I’m not really sure I want to forget.”

“What do you mean?” Katie asked, now confused over Keith’s bipolar opinion. “You should be sure before you start. You might regret it later.”

“I know.” Keith crossed his arms and leaned his head back, looking at the roof. “On one hand, I want to forget. Who would want to be alone, imprisoned by their broken memories? No one, not even I do and I’m the first to admit I’m not right in the head.” He gripped his head. “He promised to set me free…said memory is a curse more often than a blessing. And I agree…to some extent.” He pulled his hand away, staring at it. Lance couldn’t tell whether Keith was seeing something more there or not. “Because on the other hand…I have so many questions.”

“Questions? About…the fire?” Hunk asked, now getting confused. “We…” He stopped. Was it ok if he mentioned the fire? Well, Keith did ask so it would be bad if he didn’t answer. “We heard it was Rouge, knocked over a lamp in accident.”

“Trapped my parents upstairs. Takashi didn’t even unlock the door…died in his sleep.” The tallest of the four friends nodded, confirming it was the rest of the story that they had heard. “…doesn’t make sense.” Keith concluded, hitting his fist on the wall and making the others tense up.

“What doesn’t?” Lance turned fully to face Keith, placing his arms on the bed frame and resting his head on them.

“I don’t know. It just doesn’t make sense, it couldn’t have happened that way. I…I don’t remember much. Shock therapy took a toll on me.” Lance and Hunk winced at the thought of the treatment. “Might’ve been a step in the right direction to wake me up but I don’t remember much anymore about that night. I remember… waking up in the middle of the it. The smoke was everywhere and I… I was…” Keith looked down and placed a hand on his forehead. “I was…scared. I-I couldn’t breathe. I walked out of my room, I-I ran towards my parents’ room, I heard them scream for me to get out, f-for Takashi to get out, I—” It was hard to breathe. “—I- T-The fire hurt, I-I was in panic, I-I didn’t know what to do, t-they were going to die, I was going to die, everything hurt, there was a lot of smoke, I gasped for air but there was none, I—”

“Keith!”

Keith gasped and looked up at the sound of his name being called. Hunk and Lance were by his side and Katie had moved to the edge of the bed, watching in fear.

“There you go, it’s ok, buddy. You’re out of it now. Breathe, in and out.” Lance whispered, trying to calm him down. Hunk rubbed his back and sighed in relief as Keith’s breathing started to slow.

“Thank you.” Keith took a deep breath and placed a hand on his chest. “…either way, it doesn’t make sense. Something’s not right. Certain memories are just…missing. So I don’t know… it hurts to remember, it makes me panic, the memories make me want to _vomit_. But it hurts to forget too. Feels like there’s a steam hammer in my chest. It doesn’t feel right either.”

“Hey, I know it doesn’t totally help and all but we’re here, right?” Lance smiled a little. “We won’t leave you. Especially since we all live just a few minutes away from each other. You can lean on us from now on.” He poked his friend’s chest. “So we’ll pull through it! Together! Rest your pretty little head cause we’ll take care good care of you now~”

The oldest of the group blinked a few times. “Y-You? Take care of… _me_?” He pointed at himself and Lance nodded his head quickly, smiling from ear to ear. Then, Keith smirked a little, a mischievous glint in his eyes appearing. “I’m _frightened_.” Lance gasped loudly, insulted. “I’d have better chances on my own and I’m all f*cked up in the head.”

The tanned boy blushed deeply in embarrassment. Katie’s loud laughter as she fell back onto the bed, gripping her stomach didn’t help his case. “Hmph! Fine, next time you’re in trouble, don’t come crying to me!”

“I wouldn’t in the first place, you _goose_ , I’d go to Hunk.”

“It’s the safer bet if we’re being honest.” Katie commented, sitting up and cleaning the tears from her eyes.

“I hate you two so much.” He said, glaring a little at his two friends that were smirking in amusement. “Hunk, what am I going to do with these two? Now that they’re together again, it will be the end of me!” Lance plopped down on the bed and, as his body fell down on it, the frame gave out and the mattress fell on the ground with a loud thud. “… _oops_.”

Hunk rubbed his temples. “…Lance, did you just break Keith’s bed-”

Lance bit his lip. “I think I just broke Keith’s bed.”

Pidge murmured. “Holy _sh*t_ , you just broke Keith’s bed.”

Keith couldn’t hold it back anymore and after a few muffled chuckles, he took his hand away and he simply broke into a fit of loud laughter, surprising the others in the room.

As Hunk and Katie started to laugh as well, recovering from the initial scare, Lance found himself not laughing but smiling sincerely at the sight of his friends all together having fun. It felt really nostalgic.

And, for the first time in years, Lance could confirm to everyone that asked that _yes, it took a while but Keith was going to be alright_.


	4. Chapter 3 - Toys Become Weapons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ## “We must all play our assigned roles. Are you a pawn or a king? An idiot or a practiced fool? However this turns out, consider the prospect that you have been mislead, Keith. Then ask, by whom?”

One could say walking around the docks of East End at night wasn’t the safest activity. In all honesty, Hunk would probably wholeheartedly agree but it was the only time of the day where London was peaceful and he could get some alone time. Only a few fishermen walked around the place at night and the prostitutes were all doing their jobs in the rooms of the Mangled Mermaid.

Hunk walked out of the building where they normally froze the commercial goods and finally got to the docks themselves. There weren’t many people there, three or four men if he wasn’t mistaken, all of them fishermen. He smiled in contempt; they were no one he knew so the chances of starting a conversation were minimal. It was raining slightly so he opened his umbrella and went on his way.

He saw a man pull a body onto the port and his smile disappeared, being replaced with a frown. River Thames was the perfect destination for bodies of horrible murder cover-ups or suicide attempts so it wasn’t uncommon for bodies to be pulled out of the water. Even if horrible in nature, Hunk couldn’t feel as shocked as he thought he should; living in East End for so long had this effect on people: death was a common part of the everyday life of the poor.

The tall young man stopped in his tracks. The person wasn’t dead but _unconcious_ , they had just moved. Now this was different and, for the way the two males were rounding the person, it seemed like helping wasn’t their main intention. Hunk started to walk at a fast pace towards them.

“Caught me very own river nymph!”

“Saints be praised, He works in mysterious ways, eh? Got plans for him?” He saw the person sit up and start coughing into their hand. Poor thing must be so confused.

“Take him over to the Mangled Mermaid, rent a bed—”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Hunk froze and his mouth opened in shock. 

It was Keith’s voice.

“What comes natural.” The man answered, watching Keith stand up.

“Not natural to me, get away!” The eighteen year old nearly growled as he pushed one of the men out of his way and ran a hand through his wet hair. Hunk could swear he had seen a murderous spark in his eyes but decided to ignore it.

“Keith? Man, are you ok?” The taller friend ran over a little, offering his umbrella to the smaller one. Keith didn’t stop walking.

“Just fine.” He answered, sniffling and trembling a little.

“You’re soaking wet, wait, hold this.” Hunk handed the umbrella to Keith and took off his jacket. Before Keith could protest, his friend had already placed the fabric over his shoulders... in all honestly, he couldn’t find it in himself to complain, the feeling of warmth being a thousand times better than he was expecting. Keith thanked him quietly as the brown-skinned man took back the umbrella from his grasp. “What were you doing in River Thames?”

“I…I was in River Thames?” The shorter male sounded genuinely confused and Hunk frowned. He had a bad feeling about this.

“You…don’t remember what you were doing there?”

Keith looked at the ground, thinking. Then he stopped and looked at the river. “I don’t remember ever getting in. I was… I wasn’t here.” He took a moment to ponder if he wanted to tell his friend the truth or not and ended up reaching the conclusion that it would be better. Maybe he would help him. “I was in Wonderland, Hunk.”

“Wonderland.” Hunk said the land’s name, looking at him disbelief. “Keith… I know we avoided the subject and all when we were kids but… Wonderland isn’t real, you do know that right?”

“…it’s hard to say.” Keith confessed, looking down at his feet as he walked. “It’s not real in the sense that it’s a place you can visit but it’s real to me. It’s…a reality, a world in my mind. My world. I didn’t tell you guys this but… during my ten years of coma, I was stuck there. I could walk, I could run, I was living in it. And it was helping me grieve my family’s death during those ten years; it kept up with my emotions. And when I finally managed to face the facts, the King of Hearts had taken over and everyone was suffering. I defeated him and…I was deemed sane.”

“So…Wonderland follows you?” Hunk asked, trying to wrap his head around the new information. Keith nodded. “Ok… but wait, if you’re sane now, why did you go to Wonderland and fell into the river?”

“Something’s destroying it. Some… train. The Infernal Train. I don’t know where it’s heading or what it’s trying to do but I have realized it’s trying to stop me from getting to my memories.” Keith crossed his arms. “Hatter—”

“The Mad Hatter?”

“Yes. He refused to answer my questions, said it was time for tea with the animals that had just tried to kill him.” The black haired young man sighed. “I guess that’s consistent with his line of reasoning but he should’ve answered my questions. Instead he just told me to go talk with the Mock Turtle. Apparently he ran the Looking Glass Line.”

“Man, Wonderland’s getting convoluted.” Hunk commented, scratching his head. He wondered how Keith kept up with everything, especially since everyone in Wonderland spoke cryptically.

“You can say that again. But now I just need to wait for the next time I go to there so I can find the Mock Turtle. I need to find out more, I need to remember.”

“You finally decided to not go through Seward’s treatment?”

“Not really… but it might be the only way to help Wonderland. The Infernal Train is destroying everything while trying to keep me from my memories. And it’s trying to stop me from remembering for a reason…so it’s my only clue. I have to stop the treatment, it’s the only option until I know what’s putting everyone in danger.” Hunk stopped walking when they reached a two-story black and white building facing the docks. Keith looked up and took a good look at the state of a corpse-like mermaid. “The…Mangled Mermaid? Why did you bring me here?”

“Well, first, it’s where mom and I live so there must be a change of clothes for you. You can’t walk around in wet clothes or you’ll get sick.” Keith smiled a little at Hunk’s thoughtfulness. “And second, I know you’ve asked her thousands of times but… mom visited you at the asylum. Maybe she knows something we don’t. It wouldn’t be the first time she kept secrets.”

“Hunk… thank you.” The smaller man said, smiling more. He shouldn’t expect anything less from his friend but Keith couldn’t help but feel moved by the offered help.

“Nah, don’t worry. This is what friends do. And we promised we’d be here for you.” He ruffled Keith’s hair as they entered the building. “Now, you go ahead. I’ll go join you soon, just have to make sure Shay is handling the bar ok.”

Keith nodded and, as Hunk headed towards the bar, he didn’t waste a second and walked upstairs. He didn’t like the Mangled Mermaid…who could blame him though? It was a dirty place for men to drink, gamble, fight and have sex. It was the ideal mess for the sick, poor men after a day of hard work. A place to let out frustrations and be total and utter pigs. He felt sorry for Hunk and Lulu (his mother); they were nice people and they really didn’t deserve living in these conditions. The d*mn fire ruined a lot of people’s lives, not only his.

He walked up the two flights of stairs and saw that the only door that was open was Lulu’s bedroom. Approaching said room, he heard sobs.

“You won’t give me what I want, I’ll burn this dump of yours down to the ground.”

Peeking in, his eyes widened when he saw Jack Splatter: the local sexually frustrated pimp and criminal. He was a hateful man, a waste of mother’s love. He had once claimed Lulu was his favorite and there he was now, beating her to a pulp in the corner of her room as she sobbed.

“Go away! She didn’t do anything, piece of sh*t!” The black haired man ran forward, grabbing the criminal’s arm and starting to punch wherever he could. Maybe he would’ve hurt Jack, if malnutrition hadn't taken a tool on his body.

“She hurt me feelings.” Jack glared, grabbing Keith’s throat with his free hand and slamming his body on the room wall.

A piercing sound rang in Keith’s ears, probably thanks to the way his skull had hit the wall. His head hurt so much, it was hard to keep his eyes open. Everything he was seeing was going slow. He saw Lulu scream but he couldn’t hear over the sharp noise. He saw her flinch when Jack Splatter kicked her stomach one last time. He saw the vile man grab the old lantern from the table and smash it on the ground, setting the rug on fire. And, as the fire spread to the wood of the floor, he saw Jack approach him and punch him in the jaw, knocking him out. As his consciousness faded and the familiar smell of burnt wood got in his nose, he heard the distant voices of his family screaming for him to run and survive.

_Wonderland was waiting._

-

Keith woke up with a gasp, his eyes shooting open in panic. He would’ve probably fallen over on the carriage they were currently on if Hunk hadn’t quickly grabbed his waist and kept him in his place. Even if he didn’t fall, the carriage did shake a little since the horses had noticed the unusual movement in the back but it wasn’t much.

“Woah! You’re ok, Keith, just take a breather-” The delusional man hung onto his friend, his breathing slowing down as he realized he was in the real world. “How do you feel?”

“My jaw hurts like a b*tch and the blood on my mouth tastes like bile. I’m fine.” He slowly pulled away from Hunk, giving him a grateful glance before he looked back at the Mangled Mermaid. The building was being completely destroyed by the flames as some people watched on. “Wait! The Mangled Mermaid—”

“It’s done for, love.” Lulu sighed, waving her hand in a ‘forget it’ motion. “Nothing we can do about it. Three people didn’t make it out but mostly everyone escaped unharmed.” The strong woman opened her eyes and, with a stern expression on her face, she grabbed onto Keith’s arm with a firm grip. “What were you thinking, butting into that mess? You could’ve been killed!”

“I couldn’t let him keep threatening you, Lulu. What if he killed you?” Keith complained, clenching his fists. The woman just scowled and pulled on his ear, earning a loud ‘ouch’ from the young man.

“Then it would’ve just been me. You’re lucky Hunk came upstairs; the room was almost consumed by the flames when he got there. You were going to be badly burnt again, child!” She let go of his ear and he just rubbed it in silence. “You survived once because you were lucky; you’re no cat, you don’t have nine lives.” Keith just huffed in response, looking away. “Why were you there anyway? You’re not the type to just visit your old nanny for no reason.”

“…I have bad visions and I need to know more about—”

“The d*mn fire?” Lulu nearly shouted, slapping her knees. “Same as always. You need to move on Keith. And so do I.”

“Mom, Keith needs this… Please, just one more time.” Hunk insisted, placing his hands over hers.

She took her hands away, her expression stern as she looked back and forth between the boys she’d raised.“It never seems to help! Look, I’ve told you all I know, I’m sorry if it’s not enough but I can’t give you what I don’t have.” She looked actually sad she couldn’t give Keith the answers he was looking for. “I know Radcliffe might have more. He wrote the inquest report and he’s got your rabbit.”

Keith sighed, a little bit disappointed. However, he couldn’t blame Lulu for wanting to be done and over with the tragedy. Even _he_ wanted to let it go by this point but fate had other plans. “I guess that’s better than nothing… but Radcliffe’s useless.” He scowled, just thinking of the man in question. Wilton J. Radcliffe was his family lawyer, so corrupt and arrogant that he had tried to collect Keith’s inheritance for himself while he was catatonic at the asylum. And to be fair, Keith had to give Radcliffe some credit since the pitiful old chap still tried. For example, last time they had seen each other – six months before – he had tried to persuade Keith to move to Australia and to live as a farmer while he got all the money to himself. The old man was wicked.

“Don’t I know it.” Lulu sighed and Hunk smiled a little. He knew both Keith and his mother were upset but he could see they understood each other's points. And he didn’t ask for anything else besides that.

The conversation ended just in time; their carriage reached its destination: a marketplace near Threadneedle Street, where Radcliffe’s residence was located. Hunk helped his mother get out of the carriage as Keith jumped off.

“You shouldn’t move so much after you just woke up from being knocked out.” The tall young man warned as he fixed his mother’s uncombed dark hair.

“Keith was knocked out?” Hunk and Keith turned around to see a familiar petite figure that seemed way bigger than she actually was thanks to her big lime green dress.

“Pidge! What are you doing here?” Hunk asked, actually surprised to see the fifteen year old in the area.

“Dad had a few businesses to take care of here and he was complaining I was staying home for too long now.” Katie crossed her arms, clearly displeased with her situation. “So he brought me along. But I bet my whole house that the reason why you two are here is much more exciting.”

“Anything sounds more exciting honestly.” Keith commented and Pidge scowled, knowing her friend was right. “I almost drowned in River Thames.” Katie blinked a few times and opened her mouth but before she could ask anything, Keith continued. “And tried to fight a murderer.” Her eyes widened and she raised a finger, clearly going to ask something else but Keith, once again, kept going. “And he knocked me out and now the Mangled Mermaid’s destroyed, Hunk has no home and I’m going to Radcliffe to get my rabbit back.”

There was a five second silence as Katie tried to digest everything that had just been told to her.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have said it so casually?” It was more of a statement than a question but Hunk couldn’t help saying it when he noticed the female’s shocked and puzzled expression. She looked dumbstruck but then again, she most likely was.

“Too late now.” Keith shrugged his shoulders.

“I feel like there’s a lot more context to everything you just said but you can tell me all about it while I take you to Radcliffe’s.” Pidge rolled her eyes and turned around, starting to walk away.

“You two go ahead, I have some things to take care of with mom.”

Keith nodded his head and gave a little wave to Hunk and Lulu before he followed Pidge.

“So, yeah, start from the beginning.” She said, looking towards Keith.

“Something has been going on with Wonderland.” He didn’t meet her gaze but he could feel her stare grow worried and serious, having figured out that the place was deeply connected to Keith’s sanity. “It all started yesterday. Dr. Seward asked me to go get medicine and next thing I know I’m…there.” The young man sighed. “Cheshire greeted me saying there’s a new law reigning in Wonderland. The Hatter didn’t help when I asked what the new law was exactly but I did find out it was a train of all things. I was drowning in tea and that’s when I was taken out of the river. When Jack knocked me out, I went to Wonderland again. This time, the Carpenter gave me useful information.” He rubbed his forehead and Pidge frowned; Wonderland was a nice place for Keith to escape to when he was a kid but not now. Wonderland didn’t sound fun like it had once been. Now it was just extremely complex and exceptionally essential.

“What did he say?”

“That the Infernal Train arrived when I did and that I should consider that someone has been lying to me.” Keith looked like a mess. Even if he was technically resting each time he passed out, he was probably psychologically tired from everything going on in his head.

“When will you go back?” Katie pushed the gate of Radcliffe’s home open and stepped back to let her friend in. Keith walked inside the property and knocked on the door.

“I wish I knew.”

“"Yes, who is it?“ A voice questioned through the speaker.

"Keith Shirogane and Katie Holt, Mr. Radcliffe.”

The lawyer was quiet for a few seconds after hearing Keith’s voice, clearly trying to decide if he should let them in. Eventually, he replied. “Ah, you’re back. I suppose you’d better come up. Mind the latch.” And the door opened.

Katie and Keith stayed in silence as they walked in. She couldn’t help but smirk when she realized that the three-story building was completely and utterly empty on the inside. Radcliffe was bankrupt and Katie was overjoyed that justice had been served for once. Greedy b*stard had it coming. Her amusement quickly disappeared though when she saw Keith marvel at an empty wall.

“This ancient scroll is cool, don’t you think so?”

“Uh…” She didn’t know how to respond to that. She knew Radcliffe had once collected Asian relics because of his love for Eastern culture so she just decided to go with that. “…yeah. Very cool.” Keith seemed pleased that she agreed.

On the second floor, Radcliffe was writing a few papers in what had once been his office, dressed in rags. The room was completely empty except for a table, books, a broken stool and Keith’s stuffed rabbit. The old man only looked up when Keith seemed to place his hand on top of something that wasn’t there.

“You do have my rabbit!” Keith pointed angrily at his bunny, the one and only memory he had of his brother besides the family photograph Allura had sent him after two months into his stay at Houndsditch.

Radcliffe took the toy and stood up, taking a step back. “Forgotten your manners? And what else I wonder.” Katie glared. The man was as cruel as he was before he lost everything. “You abandoned it at Rutledge Asylum, dear. We’ve been over this before.”

“Even if he did, why is it so hard for you to give him the d*mn rabbit?” It was Katie’s turn to be angry. She slammed her hand down on the table before she pointed a finger at him. “For what sadistic reason do you keep it? It was a present Takashi gave to Keith, don’t you have a heart?”

“Miss Holt, this matter doesn’t concern you.” Radcliffe avoided the subject, his tone infuriatingly calm. “Besides, you know him better than I do. You should know that the rabbit is simply ridiculous pretext so he can ask about the fire again.”

“Untrue!”

“Pidge.” Keith called grabbed her hand. By his tight grip, she could see he was trying his best to not jump at the man and murder him right then and there. She had to keep her cool or else she wouldn’t be there to stop her friend if he did attack the lawyer. “I came here to get my rabbit back but yeah, I do have some questions. What did you write in your report about my family’s deaths?”

He sighed. “The alleged truth is… the fire began in the library when your cat knocked over a lamp.” Keith visually tensed but the older man kept going. “The blaze trapped your parents and brother upstairs. Takashi never even unlocked his door, he died in his bed.”

“Wait…No! Really?! Even you believe that crap?!” Keith shouted. Radcliffe seemed unaffected by Keith’s outburst. Pidge was glad she had kept herself calm earlier because now she had her arms wrapped around her friend's torso, holding him back from jumping at the lawyer and ripping his head right off. “Rouge couldn’t have! I-It makes no sense, it can’t be!” He sounded desperate. Was he trying to convince himself that Rouge couldn’t have been guilty? In all honesty, the cat explanation had always made perfect sense to Katie, especially since the Shirogane library – the place where the fire had started – was a firetrap, a conflagration waiting to happen. She even remembered hearing Mrs. Shirogane commenting on it.

“There is another theory indeed.” Radcliffe added. Keith went quiet and Katie looked towards the old man. She had a very bad feeling about what he was going to say next. “In my humble opinion, you were the one that started the fire.” Keith and Katie’s eyes grew large in horror. “You’ve always had a fixation with flames. I have remarked you might have had a larger role in causing the tragedy thanks to some psychotic episode.” Katie clenched her fists so tight she was sure she had drawn blood. On that moment, she let go of Keith, not caring if he did attack the man in front of them. Hell, she was even considering helping her friend strangle the old guy.

But Keith didn’t attack. 

Instead, he fell over, uncouncious. 

“Keith?” She called out, kneeling down next to him and shaking his shoulder but to no avail. “Keith!?” She called again, sounding more frantic. She hit his cheek a few times - not too hard so she wouldn’t hurt him - but she stopped when she heard the lawyer gather his things. When the petite woman looked up, he was already leaving…with the rabbit. “Hey!” She left Keith, ran over to Radcliffe, biting his arm the hardest she could. The old man let out a painful wail, letting go of the rabbit and, when Katie pulled her teeth away, he took off running, screaming that madness was contagious.

Looking over at her friend, Pidge didn’t know what to do. She was too little to carry him and she didn’t want to just wait for him to wake up because, for all she knew, he could wake up in an hour or three days.

Holding the rabbit close to her chest and calculating the time it would take for her to run back to the marketplace, find Hunk and rush back to the residence, she decided it would take her fifteen minutes at most. Keith wouldn’t go anywhere anyway. It was the best course of action so, after taking a deep breath and looking back at her unconscious friend on the ground one last time, she ran off the faster she could.

It took her eight minutes. Just _eight_ minutes to do the three simple tasks that formed her plan. And in those simple eight minutes, Keith disappeared to God-knows-where.

It didn’t take long for Samuel to find Lance and warn him about Keith’s disappearance.

It didn’t take eight minutes for Lance to start running around London in total disarray, looking for his missing friend.


	5. Chapter 4 - Friend Becomes Foe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ## “Forgetting pain is convenient, remembering it: agonizing. But recovering the truth is worth the suffering.”

Lance nearly fainted when an officer found them frenetically searching for Keith and announced that the delusional man was in jail. The tanned man thought his friend had murdered someone but, no, thankfully, Keith was safe and he was only in jail because the cops knew he would most likely hurt himself if he kept walking around alone. The group of three knew it wasn’t the best case scenario but after _fourteen_ hours of tirelessly looking, they’d take Keith unharmed in a cold prison cell over Keith lifeless in a ditch somewhere.

On the trip to jail, the cop described the state Keith had been found in. _Howling loudly, muttering about murders in Threadneedle Street and cursing insects_ were just three of the things he listed. Lance’s frown grew with every action mentioned, not sure what to think of the whole situation. He had felt so happy when he heard Keith was going to leave the asylum, he had thought this would mean his friend could live his life with at least a little bit of normality but this… this wasn’t good, not for them or him. Keith would always be getting himself in risky situations while they would always be worried about him. In the end of the day, no one in the group would be able to live in peace. They were lucky he had been pulled out of river Thames in time, they were lucky Hunk got him out before he burnt, they were lucky the cops found him before anything happened, maybe next time they wouldn’t be as lucky.

On the moment they walked into the building, the cop left to go get Keith. They sat on the benches in silence but judging by Katie and Hunk’s expressions, they were having the same inner turmoil as Lance. It was a complex subject that only got more difficult when Keith strolled into the entrance, looking like a walking mess. He stunk, his dirty hair was a mess of knots and tangles and his clothes were slightly torn and muddy. The three friends stood up.

“Keith…” Lance whispered, feeling hurt over his friend’s state.

“I managed to find something new.” Keith didn’t even waste a second to tranquilize them about his safety. “Rouge _didn’t_ start the fire.” He took a step towards them, looking between all his friends. “I took the lamp upstairs and put it in the hallway. And I put out the fire in the library so there was no way the fire would’ve started there! And Rouge was in my room the whole night!”

Lance took a deep breath. “…are you sure?”

“ _Huh_?”

The brown haired young man looked away, avoiding his friend’s look of surprise. “Keith… you aren’t ok. Are you sure that those memories are real when your mind’s all messed up? It could just be you not accepting the truth.”

“Lance, _don’t_.” Keith clenched his fists, glaring.

“Don’t _what_ , Keith?!” Lance threw his arms up in desperation. He couldn’t keep it in anymore, he had to be honest and say what he thought, even if it hurt his friend. “You’ve just been locked up because the officers thought you would hurt yourself. We were looking for you for fourteen hours, Keith! _Fourteen hours_! Katie and Hunk told me what has been going on… And you’re not ok. You’re having a relapse; falling into the river, passing out without reason, grumbling nonsense is not what you do when you’re well enough to walk around.” Lance took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe…”

“Lance-” Hunk called, trying to stop Lance…

“Maybe it would be best for you to go back to the asylum.”

…but he was too late. Keith’s eyes grew twice the size, looking speechless and completely shocked. “…What?”

Lance took a deep breath and looked up to look at the nineteen year old in the eyes. Keith deserved that at least. “We would make sure you were treated well, we’d visit you every day but we can’t go on like this, you can’t go on like this.” He tried to grab his friend’s hand but Keith slapped it away before he could.

“I can’t believe this… you want to get me back.”

“Keith, this is for—”

“Bloodletting.” Keith took a step forward. “Shock therapy.” And another. “Lobotomy.” He pushed Lance, who stumbled back. “Ice baths, isolation, straightjackets, sensory deprivation!” He pushed Lance against the wall of the police station and grabbed his collar. Hunk tried to pull him away but Keith had a tight grip on the shirt. “And on top of it all we were mistreated, used and forgotten by society! And you want to send me back to that place! For my well being!”

“What do you want me to do, Keith?!” Lance should’ve been scared. Or maybe he was and that was why he found himself not being able to shut himself up from saying things he didn’t mean. “YOU’RE STILL _INSANE_!”

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?!” Keith punched the wall next to Lance’s head. The room went quiet; the only thing heard was Keith’s heavy – nearly animalistic – breathing. 

Lance was shaking in fear, staring into Keith’s eyes. They looked murderous, the wolf glint back but worse; he actually looked ready to kill with no remorse. In contrast, Lance’s eyes were frightened, tears threatening to start leaving them. Keith didn’t seem aware of their situation…until the tanned man started to sniffle, not being able to hold back his sobs for longer than he had already. As a response, Keith pulled away from his friend, backing away before he looked around. 

The cops had their hands on their weapons – ready to attack if they needed –, the people that had been there before had fled and Hunk and Pidge were frozen in fear. Fear. Keith looked back at Lance; he had slid down the wall and put his hands in front of him, trying to shield himself…from Keith.

Tears slipped out. Keith couldn’t stop them.

No one called his name. No one let down their guard.

Keith was alone. Keith had no one. Keith had driven everyone away.

“…You’re…scared of me.” No one replied to him, in silent agreement. “I lost… everything… I lost my family… I lost my mind…” Lance blinked a few times, his fear starting to wear off. “While you were all living, I was brain-dead in a bed, trying to deal with losing my only family, all alone… for ten years…” Keith sounded…broken. “You… You think I like Wonderland?” He shook his head no, taking a step back. “I don’t. I’m sad, I’m confused, I’m scared…” He closed his eyes for a moment…and then opened them, more tears slipping out. “…‘So we’ll pull through it! Together! Rest your pretty little head cause we’ll take care good care of you now~’ _Bullsh*t._ ” He took a deep breath, probably trying to control his voice. “I get it, you know? I don’t blame you for not wanting to waste your life taking care of some _lunatic_. I wouldn’t either. But don’t make me think I can lean on you for help when you’re planning to go back on your word.”

Lance felt his heart in his throat when Keith left and slammed the door shut. It didn’t take a lot of time for guilt to start settling in – even if he didn’t like to admit that the black haired man was right. He had thought the asylum option would’ve been best for everyone but he hadn’t taken the time to remember his past promises and Keith’s experience on the place. The asylum was supposed to be a nice location and he knew there were some nice people there – he remembered Keith talking a lot about some woman he nicknamed Nurse D and all her kind deeds – but mostly bad people – he also remembered Keith talking about two workers who had pushed him so far that he attacked them with a _spoon_. 

Maybe if Lance had taken a little more time thinking about the implications of what he had said, he wouldn’t have hurt Keith. And maybe he wouldn’t feel the unusually sharp pain destroying him from the inside out – something he had never experienced before when the thought of losing someone came to mind.

Before Hunk and Katie could help him stand up, he rushed past them and ran out the door. But Lance could swear his heart stopped beating for a second as Keith’s knees gave out and he collapsed forward, hitting the ground. He didn’t even have time to apologize or call his name before he saw his friend hit his face hard on the rigid stones of the pavement.

“KEITH!” He shouted, running forward as fast as he could. Sitting on the ground and scoping Keith into his arms, he tried to check his breathing… thankfully, he was breathing fine but he had now a ripped lip from when he had fallen with no one there to catch him.

Keith had no one. All he had left were… _them_ and no one else. And the ‘fire boy’ had just seen the only people he had left on this earth get terrified of him over something that made him understandably angry. Keith had thought he had chased everyone away. Keith thought he was alone again. _And it was Lance’s fault_.

“Lance…?” Hunk called, placing a hand on his best friend’s back. He frowned a little, getting a feeling about what was going to happen. He still knew Lance like the palm of his hand. “You all right there…?” _Three… two_ …

“…Jeez… I-I guess I haven’t learned anything…” Lance sniffled. “I-I was awful…again…and over t-the same stupid Wonderland.” As he started to sniffle more, trying to keep himself from bawling, Hunk just smiled a little, sympathetically, and rubbed his best friend’s back to show him he was there for him. “I really didn’t think that through… He must’ve f-felt so alone… and it’s all my _fault_ …”

“Lance, we can fix this-” The tallest man started but Lance shook his head and pulled his shoulder away.

“No… I’ll… I’ll take care of him from now on…” Both Katie and Hunk’s eyes widened in surprise. “I’ll be there to catch him when he falls. A-And I’ll watch over him when he relapses.” The brown haired man looked down at Keith’s face, fragile and weak, his mouth slightly open as he travelled somewhere Lance would never be able to reach. A gentle and uncertain smile crept its way onto his features. “Yeah… I’ll be there for him from now on… and make sure to make up for lost time.” He brought Keith closer and rested his forehead on the side of the unconscious man’s head before he whispered. “I’ll give you the best godd*mn life, Keith…just you wait.” 

Lance didn’t know if Keith had heard him but the petite smile that appeared on his weak features made him feel great.

Hunk smiled, _knowing_. Katie looked surprised but not disgusted in the slightest.

-

Keith had thankfully slept peacefully all day so Lance was able to open his establishment and work without any problems. Katie and Hunk were worried Keith would slip out of the house without Lance knowing but he guaranteed that the delusional friend would need to go through the café to leave the house so Lance would definitely be able to see him. But Keith didn’t so he didn’t have to deal with kicking out the clients to keep an eye on the sleepwalking man.

It was only around the time Lance had finished closing the shop that he heard heavy steps going down the stairs. He turned just in time to see Keith murmuring inaudible things, seeming completely out of it. Instead of freaking out and sending him to his room, Lance just smiled a little sadly. “You wanna go on a walk?…let’s go, buddy.” He said to no one in particular since he knew his friend couldn’t listen. Keith walked out of the building after Lance opened the door, who followed right behind. After that, he also took off his jacket and put it over the ‘fire boy’’s shoulders so he wouldn’t be freezing and get sick.

What he didn’t expect was for Keith to mutter something that he couldunderstand right after the jacket had been placed there.

“…T-Takashi…hated…locked rooms…”

Lance stopped, his eyes shooting open in shock. Takashi… did hated locked rooms. He remembered a day where Mr. Shirogane had accidentally locked Takashi in a room and the teen had started to shout in panic when he realized his situation. Takashi was utterly terrified of closed places but he wouldn’t let anyone know. However, if he hated locked rooms… 

… _there would be no way he locked his door before going to sleep_. And now that he looked back at it, Takashi’s bedroom was further away from the fire than Keith’s and, since Keith was the living proof of it, Takashi could have jumped out the window to save himself.

The taller man looked towards Keith, walking in a circle with blank eyes, clicking his tongue at the rhythm of a clock. He really was collecting repressed memories and he really wasgetting closer to solving what had happened that night! He was bringing up information that completely disproved the idea everyone believed! _The fireplace was out. The lantern was upstairs. Rouge was in his room. Smoke couldn’t have killed Takashi!_

_Someone had killed him._

-

Keith only snapped back after eleve nhours of walking, at around five in the morning of the following day. 

The sun hadn’t risen yet and no one was walking around on the street at that point. Without any warning, Keith stopped walking, tensing up and looking around as he tried to understand his surroundings. They were right next to Houndsditch, where all the children were most likely sleeping still. However, something felt odd – the place almost looked abandoned. As Lance tried to understand why the building was looking so off-putting, Keith stormed off.

“Keith, wait!” Lance exclaimed, grabbing the other’s wrist. “I’m sorry!”

The ‘fire boy’ gasped, startled. Apparently he hadn’t noticed Lance was there. When their eyes met though, thousands of emotions reflected in that broken yet beautiful gaze of his; emotions ranging from sadness to confusion to anger. “L-Lance? What are you—” He shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing in anger. “I don’t have time for this, I have to go-”

“Huh? Where?” Lance questioned, pulling on Keith’s wrist a little to get him closer to him.

“ _Somewhere_.” Keith stated simply, sounding furious and pulling his wrist away. However, he didn’t sound furious at Lance. “Look, I’m not mad at you, just- leave me for now, I have to go-” The brown haired man saw his friend turn around and tense up at the sight of nothing – or something not visible to anyone but him – but the surprise was short lived and he started to run.

Lance followed behind, determined to be by his side if something were to happen. “But Keith-” The black haired man stopped in front of the station – the one that had just finished being constructed a day before – and turned to face the other male.

“Don’t follow me, Lance! Please!” Keith pleaded, placing a hand on Lance’s cheek. In response to the unexpected touch, Lance tensed up and blushed slightly. “… _Please_. I have to do this. Alone.” The older of the two turned around and ran down the flight of stairs, disappearing into the dark station.

Lance shouldn’t have followed. He knew he should’ve waited for Keith since he had asked him to while he was sentient. But both his curiosity and his worry were too big to deal with – he had never seen Keith that angry before and he needed to know why he was that way.

So he followed, quietly, slowly. And when he saw Keith stop, he hid. Waiting for the train was Jack Seward with a bag full of his belongings resting close to him.

“You waste of space!” Keith shouted, startling the older man. The psychiatrist turned around to face his patient. “Kids wearing numbers around their necks and being sold in the streets as toys for disgusting monsters who should know better!” Lance’s eyes widened. Were they talking about… the children of Houndsditch?

“A declaration of their pedigree.” He hadn’t denied the accusations. “They’re proud to display their provenance! You could use one.” The tanned man felt his stomach turn at the thought of the orphans of Houndsditch… the reason why the kids kept disappearing wasn’t because they were adopted into better homes… but because they were sold. Did Seward hid his tracks so well that no one realized what was happening to the children? Or did no one simply _care_?

“You monster…” Keith whispered, clenching his fists. “They can’t remember who they are or where they’re from! How many minds have you destroyed?!”

“Not enough.” Seward replied, rolling his eyes as he fixed his sleeve. Then, he looked straight at Keith. “Yours would have been a triumph… Still, you’re an insane wreck. My work is done. And you can’t change it or move against me… I’ve made certain of that.”

“You used me and abused me but you couldn’t destroy me!” The black haired man disputed, seething. “You messed my memories… but I didn’t forget.”

“You could’ve been a tasty bit; clients out the door waiting for a piece from a raving delusional beauty with no memory of the past and no sense of the future.” Lance had to gather all his strength to not run over to the two men and kill the one speaking. It was hard, his blood boiling by this point. How could a human do this much? And the way he was talking to Keith…Lance wanted to pull his head right off for even considering selling him. “But you insisted on holding on to your fantasies. You’re mad, like your brother.”

“DON’T SPEAK OF HIM! YOU DIDN’T KNOW HIM!” Keith screamed on top of his lungs, his voice strained and trembling thanks to the angry tears threatening to spill out. He was clenching his fists so tight that wounds had been made. Lance’s hands were in the same state.

“I knew enough. Your brother was a tease; pretended to hate me… but he got what he wanted… in the end. A good final memory before parting I’d say.” Lance stood up, closing his eyes. So _that_ was how Takashi had died. As tears slipped out of his eyes, he remembered Allura telling him of her hopes that her lover’s death had been a peaceful departure. _She couldn’t have been further from the truth_. To taunt Keith even more, Seward took out what Lance recognized was Takashi’s bedroom key, a memento the psychiatrist had kept to remember his crime. The psychiatrist wasn’t a man…he was a monster.

Keith took a few seconds to recover from Seward’s confession, grief and sadness overtaking his mind… but when he did, he managed to sound even angrier. “I’ll put you in prison and hope some guy makes you his sweetheart every night for the rest of your life until you want _nothing_ but the death you’ll be in line for.” He sounded murderous by this point but Lance couldn’t blame him for it.

“Indeed.” Seward agreed, sarcasm dripping in his voice. “A hysterical man, former lunatic, roaring outrageous accusations against a respectable social architect and scientist… God, Keith, who would believe you? Psychotic, stupid b*tch.” Lance had to bite his lip by that point. His tears were no longer of sadness… they were of raw anger. His eyes matched Keith’s glare for sure now. “Your madness will be punished. Give up already and leave… I’m expecting your replacement.”

Lance was going there. He was going there to beat that man to a pulp. He had never felt so angry; his blood boiling now that he knew what he had done to Takashi and Keith. It was hisfault Takashi was dead, it was his fault Allura cried so much, it was his fault Lulu had to turn to prostitution, it was HIS fault Pidge still had nightmares, it was HIS FAULT Keith had lost ten years of his life, it was HIS FAULT Keith’s smile was never the same, it was HIS FAULT Keith’s Wonderland had turned dark.

He saw the once named 'fire boy' start walking, his head held high. He saw Seward get visibly tense and confused as Keith walked over to him and yanked Takashi’s bedroom door key from his hand… and, as the sound of the train was heard getting closer, the nineteen-year-old didn’t hesitate, placing a hand on the psychiatrist’s chest and pushing him onto the tracks. Keith didn’t look away as Seward’s body was dragged by the train. Lance didn’t either.

When the deemed delusional man reached the bottom of the stairs, he stopped, seeing the other male at the top. He immediately looked panicked and rushed to find words to try to justify himself – words he didn’t need to say – but the brown haired male held his hand up to get his friend to stop. A strange silence took over, bipolar in the sense that it was both heavy and serene. Lance smiled a little and reached a hand out for his friend, whose eyes widened in shock, clearly not expecting kindess in that moment. The oldest of the two took a step back but the youngest only reached his hand further, his smile growing. 

The black haired male made his way up the stairs and, when he reached the last step, Lance pulled him into his arms.

“If you hadn’t done it, I would’ve.” Lance whispered, hugging his friend tighter. Keith was silent but returned the hug, tightly as well. 

The fair-skinned one started to tremble and soon enough he was crying. The other wasn’t far behind.

It felt like peace had been restored and every piece had fallen in its place; the villain had fallen, lost souls could finally rest in peace and the world was right again. Nothing would tear the two of them apart.

They pulled way and stared at each other. “… _Wonderland is safe_.” Keith’s eyes were shining like they had done when he was a kid when he said that. His voice had spoken softly, quietly, like a secret had just been told. The black haired man was broken – and he would never be back to who he was before the tragedy – but now Lance was sure he could glue the pieces back up, with time, patience and care.

They walked out of the station together, fingers lazily intertwined. When they reached the surface, Lance looked towards Keith, who looked around, staring at the buildings like he didn’t recognize the place. The tanned man was immediately worried that his dear friend was going to fall into Wonderland again so he tightened his grip on the other’s hand.

“Keith…?” He called out softly.

After a few seconds of gazing, Keith looked towards Lance and smiled. He pulled his hand away, grabbing Takashi’s bedroom key from his pocket and placing it around his neck like a necklace. Then, he ran forward and turned towards the taller man, smiling more. “…Don’t worry. I think London looks beautiful like this.”

“Like this?” He walked over to Keith, looking down to stare him in the eyes once he stood in front of him. “What do you see?” Lance intertwined their fingers again. Keith tightened his grip a little.

“…Neither London nor Wonderland… a place in between, I guess…” He replied, looking around again. “I’m on the edge of sanity and insanity.”

“I’d say fantasy and reality.” Lance placed a caring hand on top of Keith’s head and ruffled his hair a little. “Will you draw it for me? I’d love to see your Londerland…”

Silence.

“...L-Londerland?” Keith cringed, pushing Lance a little and scrunching up his nose, clearly not pleased with the name fusion. “Really?”

The tanned man laughed, throwing his head back. “What? It makes sense, it’s the perfect name! It’s not London or Wonderland, it’s Londerland!” He concluded, sounding like it was the greatest idea in the world. Keith didn’t look so pleased with the conclusion, even if it did make sense.

“We are not calling it that.” The older of the two stated, deadpanning.

“Well, what will you call it then?” The younger pouted, offended that his friend didn’t like his brilliant suggestion of a name.

“I don’t really know but _definitely not Londerland_.” Keith flicked Lance’s forehead and started walking, letting go of his hand and looking around at his surroundings to get used to his new home.

“Oh come on, Keith! Give me one good reason why it shouldn’t be that!” The taller one whined, running after his friend.

In the spaces between the cobblestones, beautiful forget-me-nots were scattered, growing and blooming under the light of a new day.


	6. Chapter 5 - “Alice”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ## “Ah, Keith, we can’t go home again. No surprise, really. Only a few find the way; and most of them don’t recognize it when they do.”

It was nice, leaving Oxford for the first time since what seemed like forever. It had been hard to take care of everything after Alfor’s death in December of 1874 since she had no husband to take her father’s place leading their company and she couldn’t do it herself. Behind everyone’s backs, she was the true boss of the business but the face of it was now Coran, the trustworthy family servant that had been there for as long as she could remember.

London hadn’t changed much from the last time she had been there, even if it was always increasing and developing. It was strange to remember everyone from her younger days had moved to the ever-growing city: the Holts, the Garretts and the only surviving Shirogane. She gave a little sad smile at the thought, it had been so long since she and Coran had last seen them, ten years if she wasn’t mistaken. She kept in contact with Lance for the first two years but they ended up stopping with Allura being so busy with maintaining her house name afloat. She regretted it though and that was one of the reasons why she had chosen this particular location to visit in this rare small vacation she allowed herself to take, thanks to Coran’s insisting.

She turned the corner on a familiar street and came face to face with the café she was looking for. The name was still the same ‘Wonderful Times Café’, the venue her father had bought for Lance to make his own little business. It seemed full, high society members dressed in beautiful clothes as they sat on the white detailed chairs and chatted about all kinds of things. It seemed really pretty too.

Allura walked inside after Coran opened the door for her. The inside of the café looked really cozy and beautiful with around ten tables, each with four chairs. There was also a counter with a glass displaying cakes, pastries and wines. The walls were decorated with pictures displaying unearthly locations so beautiful that they had to be made-up, even if they looked realistic. It took her just a few seconds to see and recognize three adults she had once called children, accompanied by two others that she didn’t know.

Katie had turned into a beautiful young lady, wearing a long and puffy pale green dress and white gloves, a pearl necklace on her neck and two purple pansies adorning her hair, the picture of sophisticated grace. Even so, Allura could tell she was still rebellious, wearing her hair too short for what society deemed suitable for a rich woman. The man next to her – who had long brown hair tied in a ponytail and eyes the brightest green Allura had ever seen – had her gloved hand in his on top of the table. The golden circles on their ring fingers meant only one thing.

Hunk was sitting on the other side of the table and he was way bigger than Allura ever thought he would get. Though visibly older, his smile hadn’t changed one bit, still warm, kind and inviting. And he was still wearing the same orange strip of cloth that he used to push his bangs back as a kid! The only differences on him were his hair – that was much longer and a bit messier, curling a little more at on the ends – and the fact he had a small beard now. Sitting next to him was a woman around his age; she had short and dark hair, her eyes were a lovely shade of amber and her skin was just slightly darker than Hunk’s. They were also wearing golden rings.

The only one standing up was Lance, who was working, of course. He was the one that had changed the least, his hair being a little longer than the last time she had seen him. He also seemed a little more tanned but maybe that was just from the fact Allura didn’t see him in a while and couldn’t exactly remember that he was this dark before. She couldn’t help but smile a little when she saw he had no ring on his finger. He spent so much time claiming he was close to finding his future _Miss McClain_ , but he was still single. Not that there was nothing wrong with that, especially since he was a man and people didn’t seem to find it disgraceful if they didn’t marry.

“Would we be intruding if we were to sit by you?” She asked, making everyone turn to her. The faces of the three she knew lit up.

“Allura!” Lance was the first one to run over and pull her into a hug.

“It’s nice to see you, Lance…” The woman replied, hugging him back. Lance’s hugs still felt great, as she imagined. As they pulled away, she could see Coran shake hands with Hunk and the other man.

Hunk stood up and hugged her, smiling more than he was before. His hug was way gentler than she was expecting. “We’ve missed you a lot.”

“As I have you…”

“What brings you to London?” Katie asked, waiting for her turn to hug her old friend, something she immediately did after Hunk pulled away and sat back down.

“Well, Coran insisted I should take a break. And so, here I am.” Allura told them as Coran pulled up a chair to the table they were using so she could sit down. He stood standing, behind her, as he often did. Katie sat back down as well. “And I realized it has been way too long without seeing any of you… I see I’ve lost a lot.” She mentioned towards the rings.

“Allura, this is Shay, my fiancé.” The young woman waved a little, smiling as kindly as Hunk. Allura could see how they had fallen in love.

“It’s nice to meet you, Allura!” Shay said, sounding happy to meet someone new. “Hunk has told me a lot about you.”

“Everything good, I hope.” Allura replied, making the other female nod her head in confirmation.

“And this is Gabriel, my husband.” The white haired woman turned her attention to the man when she heard Pidge’s voice. The male smiled just as cheerfully as Shay did and Pidge did too, something that made Allura surprised. Not because she didn’t expect a man like this to be Pidge’s type but because she didn’t expect Pidge to have a type – she thought Katie would simply refuse to get married. However, judging by her expression, the marriage didn’t seemed to be forced. “Ok, you look confused, let me explain.” The light brown haired girl got closer, placing a hand in front of the space between her hand and Allura’s ear and whispered. “He’s totally cool with me being weird. He helped me try on pants once.” Allura’s eyes widened and she looked towards her friend in disbelief. Pidge just smirked. “And they’re super comfortable.” Gabriel chuckled, knowing exactly what his wife had told her friend.

“I’m glad you two are doing nicely…” Allura smiled from ear to ear, genuinely happy with Katie and Hunk’s situation. Then, she looked towards Lance. “What about you? No Miss McClain yet?”

The man in question tensed up a little but soon relaxed and smiled, giving a little chuckle. He scratched the back of his head, a slight blush on his cheeks. “No, not really… don’t really have, uh… time, y’know?”

“No time…?” She furrowed her eyebrows and was about to ask what he meant when she was interrupted by cheerful screeches, laughter and running coming from the room upstairs, the place she knew was his residence.

“HEY! BE CAREFUL UP THERE BEFORE YOU—” Lance didn’t have time to finish shouting before a crash was heard. He groaned, rubbing his hands over his face in annoyance. “AAH, it’s the _THIRD_ vase this week!”

“In their defense, you broke a lot of stuff back at the Shirogane house when you were young. You can’t really blame them.” Hunk laughed, patting Lance’s back to show his support. “You go up there and see if everything’s ok, I’ll keep an eye on here.”

“Thanks, Hunk.” Lance looked towards Allura as he took his apron and placed it on the counter. “Wanna see the reason why I don’t have time? Come with me, _princess_.” He walked over to a door that said ‘STAFF ONLY’ in capital letters and opened it to reveal a stairway.

“You go ahead, Allura.” Coran suggested. “I’ll be here for you when you come back.” She nodded her head and smiled gratefully before she followed her old servant.

As they walked into the home – that was much bigger than she thought it would be; her father had really been worried about Lance’s comfort – Allura could hear two separate voices talking at the same time. Voices of children to be exact. Her posture immediately became tense, had Lance’s wife died, leaving him behind with their children? If so, she would never be able to forgive herself for asking such an inconsiderate question, even if it had been made in complete innocence.

Lance stopped at the entrance of the living room, crossing his arms. His three daughters were sitting on the big white couch in the middle of the room, looking like absolute angels – symbols of utter goodness and everything nice – and he might’ve just been fooled _if he didn’t know the three little wolves in sheep’s clothing he was raising_.

“Where’s the vase.” Lance asked, raising an eyebrow. The girls didn’t answer. “…well?”

“What vase?” The first one asked back.

“I know of no vase.” The middle one shrugged.

The youngest just shook her head no, in a way claiming that she didn’t know about what he was talking about.

In response, he just pointed at the top of the table, where the flowers were supposed to be, but were now missing. “And the forget-me-nots? What happened to them? Disappeared?” They didn’t reply again, looking between each other as they tried to find a common alibi. “I want the truth. I won’t be mad.” The oldest kid kicked the rug over in response, revealing the pieces of the shattered glass on the ground that had been hiding under it. He sighed, mumbling something about him going poor over the amount of vases they broke and walked into the kitchen to go get the broom.

Allura walked into the living room and the three girls looked towards her. She immediately felt relieved since they looked nothing like Lance or each other; they had been _adopted_.

The one furthest on the left was the one that looked the tallest so she was most likely the oldest. Her eyes were dark green and her hair was a mess of ginger curls that disobeyed any attempt of brushing, falling to her shoulders. She was wearing a puffy blue dress with a few white details and a blue bow on the side of her hair. Her pout and her furrowed eyebrows did not match her cute appearance – while she looked like a princess, she seemed to be a rebel in the making. Her cheeks were covered in freckles. She looked around eight.

The one in the middle was smiling a little and if Allura wasn’t great at reading people, she would’ve just assumed she was the collected one in the family but no – the woman could clearly feel the same wildness from the first one in her, she simply hid it better. This girl had long, wavy, blonde hair and she tied her long bangs in a back ponytail with a dark blue ribbon, making the top of her head look almost slicked back. Her eyes were dark brown and her skin was tanned, around Lance’s skin tone. Her dress was all dark blue and but it had tiny flowers of all colors splattered around randomly – they were clearly painted on. She looked around six.

Lastly there was the smallest one, sitting on the edge of the couch, swinging her feet. She hadn’t spoken yet and it honestly appeared like she _wouldn’t_. On the contrary to her sisters, she didn’t feel like an outspoken ‘I do what I want’ kind of rebel, looking rather reserved – but not exactly shy – instead. Her skin tone was placed between her sisters’ – not tanned but not pale white either – and she had big light blue eyes and straight black hair that was tied in two pigtails with bright blue bows. Her dress was… strange, consisting of a yellow top with puffy sleeves and bright blue buttons but her skirt was black with pink stripes forming squares.

Lance walked back into the living room with a broom and started cleaning the shards. As he did that, he looked back at Allura. “Allura, these are my kids. Agatha—”

“Hi.” The ginger greeted, drily.

“—Celeste—”

“Hello.” The blonde greeted, waving a little and smiling more. Allura felt a shiver down her spine, Lord knows why. There was a familiar glint in her eyes.

“—and Lilith.”

Lilith didn’t speak, just staring. She waved.

Lance looked towards Allura. “She’s mute.”

Oh.

Allura tensed up slightly and rushed to find words after she realized she had been quiet during her sudden realization. “Um!” She looked towards the girls. “I-It’s nice to meet you three! I’m Allura, Lance’s friend.”

“Papa told us a lot about you.” Celeste informed, standing up and reaching a hand out for Allura to shake, which she did.

“I seem to be a common topic among my old friends, I see.” Allura giggled. “You are all very cute.” The white haired woman smiled kindly and looked towards Agatha, who couldn’t help but blush at the praise.

“T-Thanks.” She stuttered, speaking quietly since she was embarrassed.

When Lance finished cleaning, Lilith stood up and ran over to the curtains, reaching down and picking up the forget-me-nots from the ground, where they had been hiding. “So that’s where they were.” He noticed, sighing. Lilith seemed to giggle before she ran past Allura, into and down the hallway. Then, she opened the door of the last room of the long corridor and ran in. From that area, she heard another voice.

“Lance found you out, huh? …I told you I could hide the glass here.”

Allura’s eyes widened, not expecting anyone else to be at the house, especially a male. She looked towards her old servant, who smiled a little. “Come on, you’ll like to see him.” Her eyes widened more in realization and she ran past Lance, nearly knocking him over.

The woman into said room. In front of three windows with a beautiful view of the city of London stood Lilith and another man, pale but healthy, with long black hair tied in a ponytail and, while ¼ of his bangs were braided and incorporated into the ponytail, the other part fell in front of his right eye. The visible eye was a familiar shade of grayish blue, a color she hadn’t seen in a long time. The man turned his head to looked at who had just entered and his jaw dropped.

“… _Allura_ …?” The man questioned, not really sure if it was her. He turned towards her, placing the brush and the pallet he was holding onto on the table, right next to the other paints, pencils and cups of water he had been using to draw and paint on the canvas.

“You’ve changed so much, Keith.” Both starting walking towards each other and met halfway. “I wouldn’t be able to recognize you if you passed by me on the street…” He put his bangs behind his ear, allowing his right eye to see as he gave her a little smile.

“You still look the same.” He replied. It wasn’t exactly true since she now looked older and time didn’t forgive but anyone could clearly see it was her; she was still as beautiful as the day he had met her.

“You’re visiting as well?” She asked, looking around the room.

“Uh...No, this is my room.” Allura’s eyes widened. Of course it was his. It was really spacious and even if it didn’t have a lot of things, it didn’t feel empty. It had three large bookshelves full of books on the wall right next to the door and, on the opposite wall there was a dresser with a red lion plush on the right, a vase with forget-me-nots – nostalgic to say the least – in the middle and on the left there was the stuffed rabbit Takashi had once given him. The dresser was on the corner of the room and the wall next to it had a rounded opening that gave access to another room. Said other room had blue walls, in contrast to the one she was currently on that had white walls. Not too far away from the canvas was a bed with a red mattress. Other than that, there was only the little painting station Lilith was standing near of, a red couch and a small circular table with a tea set resting on top. The walls of the room were also fully decorated with works of art that she recognized as the same type of paintings that decorated the walls of ‘Wonderful Times’; other than that, there were two pictures: one of the Shiroganes – with Takashi, Keith and their parents – and one of Lance, the three girls and Keith.

“You live with Lance?” Allura asked, quite surprised. She remembered the two boys were inseparable, even if they argued a lot, but she was not expecting them to share a house once they grew.

“Keith needed someone to watch over him during certain moments of… confusion.” She turned around to see Lance walking towards them. “So I decided to take care of him. He’s been with me since 75! We make a good team.” The two men shared a smile – she would describe it as intimate – and Allura could remember an old memory come to mind.

**«I think Lance could go to Wonderland.»**

**Allura had chocked on her tea at the sudden statement. She glared a little at her beloved, who smiled apologetically. The girl sighed, not being able to be mad at him and decided to ignore her sore throat.**

**«Speaking nonsense must run in the family.» She smirked a little, teasing. «Care to explain how a real boy would visit a made-up kingdom inside the mind of another?»**

**Takashi smiled, still staring at Keith, who excitedly told Lance about his adventures through the looking-glass. Lance was eagerly listening, smiling with his eyes shining in interest and awe.**

**«By not asking ‘how’.»**

She didn’t understand then but now she did. Allura looked away from them, focusing her stare on the room itself. She remembered when Keith had first drawn Wonderland and showed it to her. Up until then, he had described it but he had never shown it. When asked about the sudden interest in drawing, Keith had said Lance had been disappointed he couldn’t see it. She remembered the youngest of the two had memorized all names and places and the two boys had active conversations between each other about the fantasy kingdom.

Now it wasn’t so different, with Lance’s children being exposed to Wonderland and his café being covered in paintings of it. Even if Lance had never been there, Keith’s Wonderland was no longer _his_ , but _theirs_.

-

“Did you guys like Allura?” Lance asked, pulling Lilith’s covers up to make sure she was warm. The youngest girl nodded her head, smiling. There was no surprise for Lance there since Lilith was the most trusting of his three daughters.

“She was nice.” Agatha confessed, fluffing her pillow before lying her head down. It made Lance really happy since Aggie was the most reluctant about new people in her life. She wasn’t shy but she had grown untrusting when her blood-related parents abandoned her at the age of four at the old Houndsditch – now named New Beginnings and owned by Lulu, Hunk and Shay, who did their best to make the unfortunate children that got there happy. “Will she visit us again?”

“Dunno when since she’s really busy all the time but yeah, for sure!” Lance answered before pecking Lilith’s temple and going to the middle of the room. “She thought you guys were great and super cute.”

“She was really pretty.” Celeste voiced her opinion, sitting up on the bed when Lance came to give her a kiss. “Is that why you call her princess?” Her father pecked her forehead and she closed her eyes for the brief moment.

“That and she lives in a really big house with lots of servants. She’s _basically_ a princess.” He explained, walking over to Agatha’s bed last to kiss the top of her head. After he did, he pulled back and sat on a chair in front of Celeste’s bed since it was the one in the centre. “Now, for tonight’s story how aboooout Snow—” The two oldest girls groaned, making their father look confused. “—what? What’s up?”

“We’ve heard that one before!” Aggie complained.

“Um…how about…Rapunzel?”

“You told us that one last night.” Celeste stated and Lance paled. How did he not remember that!

“B-Beeeeauty and the Beast?”

“It’s the one you tell the most.” The look of disinterest on Agatha’s face was making him feel like a bad storyteller, something that was _completely wrong_ since his storytelling skills were ones to be jealous of. The orphans of Hunk’s place always cheered when they saw Lance and Keith visit them since they knew they’d get lovely drawings made by Keith and great stories told by him.

“Why not tell us a new one?” Celeste suggested and Lance frowned a little at the option, going quiet and rubbing the back of his neck.

To be honest, he had published a few stories, mostly in newspapers but he already had a book out there, presented to the public under a secret name. His goal since the day he had adopted Celeste was to write a story for children but he didn’t know what to write. Everything he thought of sounded like nothing but garbage. It was exasperating.

Since Keith was in the room, he decided to look towards him for help but to no avail. The man was looking out the window while he spoke to what Lance would assume was some habitant of Wonderland capable of speech. He was swinging back and forth slowly in his rocking chair while he pet something that was not there in his lap – the younger man could only guess that it was Cheshire Cat, one of the few creatures that had never turned against Keith. Takashi’s bedroom key hung on a string around Keith’s neck and glistened in the light of the moonlight.

Keith had never ‘recovered’ after that fateful day on the station, not that Lance minded. It was really interesting to see London through Keith’s eyes – Londerland – since it was a beautiful mix of the real world and his mind. Although, sometimes, while he stroked Keith’s hair as he was sleeping, the younger of the two couldn’t help but feel a bit worried. It was probably his own imagination but Wonderland seemed to be growing stronger. At the beginning, Keith saw the land and nothing else but as the years went on, Lance was informed by him that he was seeing more and more of the habitants of Wonderland. It had started with Cheshire – who followed Keith around like shadow and commented on every single thing –, then the Hatter, the Duchess, the Dormouse, and etc. Now, everyone from Wonderland was back and they lived around in London as if they were real people.

An idea hit him. He looked towards his daughters, who must’ve noticed the look of sudden inspiration on their father’s face because they all sat up, curiously staring at the man sitting in front of them. He looked at Agatha. He looked at Lilith. And then his eyes landed on Celeste.

“…ever told you guys about…Alice’s adventures in Wonderland?”

Keith looked towards Lance, seemingly interested.

“Wonderland? You mean that place Keith tells us about?” Celeste wondered, growing interested.

“Yeah! Y’know, it’s actually a place!” Lance grinned smugly, closing his eyes and crossing his arms. “And there was this girl, named Alice, who visited the place twice! Admittedly, it’s _waaaay_ less time than Keith over here spends in Wonderland but I’m not going to tell you about what he does there when he already lets you know all about it.”

“How did she get there? I thought it was impossible!” Agatha beamed and Lilith nodded in agreement since her sister had said exactly what she was thinking of.

Lance leaned in closer to them and smirked. “A white rabbit showed her the way.” The girls gasped in amazement and surprise, ready to hear the story. Maybe Lance shouldn’t have gotten them excited with a story that was supposed to put them to sleep but he didn’t really care now that he felt overjoyed he had found the story he wanted to tell the world.

Keith’s chest felt warm as Lance started the story. He felt honored to have his dear friend tell the girls about his first official trip to Wonderland, even if on the disguise of a little girl named Alice. As much as Wonderland was part of him and he had grown to accept it, he still wished he was normal. His insanity had been the source of a lot of pain to him and so, at times, he felt like there was nothing good about it. However, seeing Lance telling the odd tale and the girls looking so happy about it made him feel that maybe there was some good to that place.

Keith smiled. He was delighted his Wonderland could bring a smile to someone else’s face.


	7. Chapter 6 - Jabberwocky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song present in this chapter is this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlyrweRsILk sung by the wonderful Erutan, using Lewis Caroll lyrics!

She was used to people staring – in admiration or jealousy, sometimes both. She didn’t blame them; she truly had been blessed in thousands of ways during her lifetime. She had been gifted with beauty – her soft golden hair now reaching her waist and her smile enchanting hearts in seconds; she had been gifted with heavenly vocals, talent that gave her the chance to become a star – and, most importantly, she had been gifted with a wonderful and peculiar family – surrounded by everything impossible that turned possible in the eyes of one she thought as another father.

“Celeste, five minutes!” She heard a man shout from outside her room.

The female took a deep breath, taking a strand of hair and putting it behind her ear to join the others. Gazing one last time at the page she had been reading before the warning shout had snapped her back to reality, she closed the book and set it on the table. The woman known as the Angel of London by the public stared for a moment at the bold, golden letters of the cover that spelled ‘ALICE IN WONDERLAND’. Then, she turned around and left her dressing-room.

She was a sight to behold. Her long hair tied in a braid, tangled with white flowers; her purple colored dress faded into white at the bottom and the whole piece was adorned with golden details, making it the most beautiful outfit the theatre had ever bought. Walking through the corridors of the theatre, no one could look away. The skirts of her dress flowed behind her as she walked into the stage, a standing ovation starting just by her presence. Reaching the middle of the stage, she curtsied before straightening her back and closing her eyes.

She joined her hands, the orchestra started to play.

_In her mind, she pictured a black haired boy playing with a rabbit, running through the green grass as his oversized nightgown flowed with the wind._

_“Lalalalala, lalalalala_

_Lalalalala, lalalalala_

_Lalalalala, lalalala_

_Lalalalala, lalala”_

-

Agatha got comfortable in the couch and put around ten books on the ground. “So, which story do you want to hear today?”

She looked up at the orphans sitting on their beds, all looking excited. This was the moment all looked forward to during the day ever since Agatha had started to work there: Aggie’s storytime hour. She had this talent to tell tales that made them always sound brand new, even adding new plot points, characters or scenes sometimes. It always kept the kids on their toes.

All children pointed towards the same book, which made Agatha surprised. She looked down at the one they pointed at and her gaze softened: Alice in Wonderland. “I’ve told you this story yesterday though.”

“It’s the greatest one though!” One little girl exclaimed, lying down with her feet on where her head was supposed to be.

“Yeah! Wonderland is so cool!” A boy agreed, grinning. “And there’s no love story attached, which is great.” Aggie smirked a little and rolled her eyes, shaking her head. If only they knew.

It was true that Alice in Wonderland was their favorite, fact made evident by the amount of pencil drawings of the made-up kingdom made by the kids that were now decoration on the bedroom walls. It was her favorite too but that was because she grew up hearing about the place described in the story. These characters were almost like family to her, especially Cheshire. She couldn’t count on her fingers how many talks she had with him through Keith, who always seemed appreciative of her attempts to interact with the cat.

“Fine.” She agreed, picking up the book. The kids cheered but, on the moment the ginger girl opened it, they fell silent. It almost seemed like they were holding their breaths in anticipation. “Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank—” There was a collective sigh as they allowed themselves to breathe. Agatha had to do her best to not laugh. “—and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, ‘and what is the use of a book’ thought Alice, ‘without pictures or conversations?’”

-

_She pictured a boy telling stories to his friends about a far away land of Kings and Queens, of nonsense and disorder, where nothing was what it is and everything was what it isn’t._

_“Twas brillig, and the slithy toves_

_Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:_

_All mimsy were the borogoves,_

_And the mome raths outgrabe.”_

-

Lilith gathered everything in a basket: five warm blankets, a jar with water and a jar with orange juice. She was about to leave her bedroom when the window suddenly opened, scaring her a little. The girl rushed to close it to stop the snow from entering her room – she didn’t have time to clean it, not with this weather. She scowled at the snow on the floor but decided to ignore it.

Then, she looked towards her mirror and her eyes widened a little, realizing she had been about to leave without her warm cloak. Now she couldn’t help but hear her father’s overly worried and incoherent _screeching_ over the concept of his _precious daughter_ going out in the snow with only her thin and simple violet dress. Lilith silently giggled as she reached into the closet and pulled out her white cloak. The girl put it on, feeling instantly warmer and, after she picked her basket back up, she left the room.

“You ready?” Katie asked, standing up from her seat in the living room. Lilith nodded and left the house. Pidge and her husband followed behind after putting on their warm jackets.

They stepped outside. Lilith looked up at the night sky as it snowed and then she pulled her hood up, covering her face. Gabriel lit up two lanters to light their way through the dark.

-

_She pictured a boy falling on the ground, screaming in pain and heartbreak, alone in the world with no one by his side._

_“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!_

_The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!_

_Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun_

_The frumious Bandersnatch!”_

-

“'What a curious feeling!’ said Alice, ‘I must be shutting up like a telescope.'”

The kids listened quietly. The youngest, that simply liked to hear Agatha tell a story with her mellow voice, had fallen asleep by this point. The oldest children kept listening, completely absorbed in the fantastic tale.

“And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little door into that lovely garden…” Agatha shivered, feeling very cold. She stopped reading for a second, looking out the window to see it was snowing. Of course it was cold! Now, the only way to warm up would be to go downstairs but she couldn’t, judging by the expecting stares the children, enthusiastically waiting for when she kept going.

She felt something fall on her shoulders and tensed up. Turning her face to look behind her, she saw Hunk, smiling a little. She smiled back and then looked down to realize he had placed a white blanket over her, nearly covering her plum-colored dress. Agatha smiled more, looking back up at her father’s friend and giving him a small nod in unspoken thankfulness.

“First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about this, 'in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be like then?'” Aggie kept going as Hunk left the room.

-

_She pictured a boy looking out the window, patiently waiting for the day he’d see his friend again._

_“Lalalalala, lalalalala_

_Lalalalala, lalalalala_

_Lalalalala, lalalala_

_Lalalalala, lalala”_

-

The streets of London were completely empty. In a normal summer day, some would be outside at this hour. However, with the snow falling from the sky, everyone was inside; houses, bars and theatres were filled to the brink with people wanting to escape the cold. Only Katie, Grabriel and Lilith were walking around outside – whoever saw them would think they were crazy.

Lilith’s white cloak, dark hair and striking blue eyes made her seem like a ghost in the middle of the snow. People would think she was a banshee if it wasn’t for the couple’s presence, Katie walking next to her and her husband following close behind both women.

-

_She pictured the boys growing to men._

_“He took his vorpal sword in hand;_

_Long time the manxome foe he sought—_

_So rested he by the Tumtum tree_

_And stood awhile in thought.”_

-

“‘Who are you?’ said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, ‘I-I hardly know, sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.’ ‘What do you mean by that?’ said the Caterpillar sternly. ‘Explain yourself!’ ‘I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, sir,’ said Alice, ‘because I’m not myself, you see.’ ”

Agatha smiled a little, in a bittersweet way, at the passage. She remembered the day she found out about Keith’s Wonderland. It had been a few months after she had been adopted… Lance called her and told her that the following day would be special. When asked why, he replied that Keithwouldn’t be himself for a day; he would be with them but someone else would talk once he opened his mouth.

She remembered she couldn’t sleep the night after he told her that. She tossed and turned for hours, wondering what her father had meant by Keith not being himself. Would his appearance change? Who would replace Keith? Why did they have to speak through him? Why were they visiting anyways? It was all a bit too much for her four year old mind. Eventually she learnt Keith had a relapse every anniversary of his family’s death – and it was always a complete mystery who would step forward to speak.

She remembered walking into the kitchen in the morning and stopping immediately. It was the weirdest thing to see Keith sitting on the ground of the kitchen, listening to Lance hum. When the black haired man noticed her presence… he grinned from ear to ear, tilting his head. He spoke in a husky tone, clearly not his own.

**«It’s a pleasure to meet you, Agatha… Keith told me a lot about you.»**

It had been her first encounter with the Cheshire Cat. It had been kind of scary back then; she hid behind Lance’s leg during the whole morning. In the afternoon, however, she bombarded poor Cheshire with questions. It was now one of her most precious memories.

-

_She pictured the men meeting again, changed but the same._

_“And, as in uffish thought he stood,_

_The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,_

_Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,_

_And burbled as it came!”_

-

To Lilith’s surprise and joy, she saw an old woman still returning from her day of work. Judging by her expression and full basket of flowers, the woman hadn’t sold anything the whole day and she would return home penniless. The black haired girl smiled a little and quickly ran over to the other female, who jumped in fear when she saw the excited teenager nearly jump at her.

“Oh, dearie, you scared me…” The older lady said, placing a hand over her heart. “How may I help you?” Lilith pointed at the flowers. “My flowers? Do you want one?” The younger one shook her head no and made a circular motion over the basket before she took a few coins out of the pocket of her dress. The eyes of the old woman widened and Lilith frowned – what she considered as a small quantity, to this woman, was probably a lot. “…A-All that? For my flowers?” The blue eyed girl nodded her head rapidly and smiled kindly. “I couldn’t possibly—”

“Go ahead, miss.” Katie smiled a little. “Lilith won’t take no for an answer.”

The old woman slowly nodded her head and opened the basket. Katie took the flowers out while Lilith paid the woman.

“Thank you, miss! God bless your kind soul….” The old woman smiled and went on her way home, back to her family.

After taking the flowers from Katie, Lilith kept walking and looked down at her bouquet. She smiled. There were a few forget-me-nots.

-

_She pictured the end of an era; a villain falling and a hero surviving against all odds._

_“One, two! One, two! And through and through_

_The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!_

_He left it dead, and with its head_

_He went galumphing back.”_

-

The kids had all fallen asleep by this point… all but one boy that still listened closely to the story. Agatha didn’t notice though, too immersed in the tale to notice; she was no longer telling a bed time story but reading to herself, like her father had done a long time ago.

The ginger girl took a deep breath when she reached the last page. “Lastly,… she pictured to herself how this same sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman: and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather around her other little children and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long-ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy…summer days.”

“Aggie?”

“Huh?” She looked up and blinked a few times. The boy that had called her was sitting on the mattress of his bed, his grey eyes showing nothing but worry.

“Why are you crying?” He asked, getting out of bed and walking over to her. Her green eyes widened.

“I’m…crying?” She reached up and touched her cheek, feeling it wet. Agatha blinked a few times and a few more tears slipped out. “…Oh.” She sniffled and started cleaning her tears. “S-Sorry…”

“Are you ok?” The boy sat next to her. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Just…” Her voice trembled as she tried to hold back her tears. “…don’t worry, ok? I’m fine…” She smiled kindly at the kid and ruffled his hair. Such a kind soul.

“You need a hug? Hunk always says hugs make you feel better.” The child offered. Agatha giggled silently and opened her arms, accepting his offer. He didn’t waste a second, throwing himself into her arms.

“Thanks, Sven.”

-

_She pictured two men looking over as three girls grew with their help._

_“«And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?_

_Come to my arms, my beamish boy!_

_O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! »_

_He chortled in his joy.”_

-

Katie and Gabriel had decided to stay outside for a little bit so Lilith went ahead. It was getting harder to walk, the snow starting to cover the green grass; she was regretting bringing her ballerina flats instead of a stronger pair of shoes. She was thankful for the lantern Gabriel had brought for her though – without it, it would be very difficult to navigate through the place. Most would consider the hardly-lit environment too scary and they would turn back until the others decided to come with but Lilith had never been scared of what could be lurking in the shadows.

She saw him in the distance and rushed to get to him.

Lilith got on her knees in front of the man she saw as another father figure and brushed off his bangs. His eyes twitched and she smiled – she had made it in time. Taking the blankets from her basket, she covered his body with them. He immediately curled up in them, the side of his head still resting against the cold and hard stone. The man looked satisfied and she smiled, happy with her work. Then, she turned.

The black haired girl placed a caring hand on the grave that read ‘Lance McClain’ as tears filled her eyes. Her father’s death had been quick, three days to be specific; one day he was coughing and sneezing, the next he was bedridden, unable to move, and on the third day he died. The doctor had said it had been a bad case of flu and everyone in the house was lucky they hadn’t caught it, especially Keith, who spent every hour of the three days next to his friend. Even if heartbroken, she had to admit his departure had been fitting: lying in bed surrounded by his daughters and holding his forbidden love’s hand, their fingers intertwined. Knowing Lance like she knew, he must’ve felt overjoyed this was the way he was leaving the mortal realm.

Lance was buried two days later. And then, Keith moved no more.

He had been out of it during the two days, hardly responding and moving but everyone thought it was only a matter of time until he snapped back, he was just grieving and needed space. However, after the burial was done, everyone was present to see Keith sit down next to the grave, rest his head on the stone and stop moving. He wasn’t dead but he refused to budge and didn’t respond. After two hours, everyone was getting desperate.

Katie had slapped him after the third hour without moving. Told him to ‘grow up’ and that he had to face reality – no one blamed her; she was going through a hard time like all of them were. She was the first one to realize Keith had locked himself up in his Wonderland, after she cried all she had to cry and calmed down.

No matter how much everyone tried, Keith never responded again. Sometimes, when visiting, they’d hear mumbling – mentions of places in Wonderland and its people – but nothing else. Everyone knew he’d pass soon as well – blankets and drinks could only do so much. It broke their heart but they couldn’t do anything. Hunk managed to bring him home once and he sneaked off at night, returning to his spot in the cemetery. Keith had always been stubborn – if he wanted to stay with Lance, he would.

Lilith cleaned her tears and reached into her basket, taking out the juice she had brought inside of the jar. The girl reached over to her other father figure and went to open his mouth but before she could, she saw him take a deep breath. Then, silence.

Her eyes widened in shock, forgetting to breathe for a few seconds. As warm tears started to escape her eyes, she felt the need to speak for the first time in her life. She tried calling his name, over and over again but only managed to make quiet gurgling noises. She shook his shoulder. _Wake up, wake up, wake up._ She wanted to scream, let everyone know about how painful her heartbreak was. Keith’s breathing didn’t return again.

All Lilith could do was grab Keith’s hand, bring it to her forehead and curl up on the snow, sniffling and gurgling and gasping and crying.

The cemetery was quiet.

-

_She pictured the youngest dying of disease, surrounded by those he loved._

_“Callooh! Callay!_

_O frabjous day!”_

_She pictured the oldest letting go of reality._

_“Callooh! Callay!_

_O frabjous day…”_

-

_The distant sound of an ending song._

_The distant sound of a finishing tale._

_The distant sound of silent screams._

Keith felt something warm on his lips and opened his eyes. His beloved was there, smiling at him, awake. The black haired man tried his best but couldn’t keep the tears from falling… He had waited what felt like an eternity for him to wake up. He missed that warm smile so much.

Keith sat up and smiled as well. Lance looked beautiful against the green grass and autumn-colored trees. Lance was in Wonderland. The oldest of the two chuckled at the notion. He knew this wasn’t real, he knew this was all in his mind. But he didn’t find it in himself to care – he wasn’t alone, Lance was there, Lance was with him.

_Lance._

Lance cradled him in his arms. The once called delusional wrapped an arm around his tanned shoulders and placed his free hand on his chest.

Keith looked up to meet Lance’s eyes. Lance smiled.

Everything was right.

_And Wonderland was no more._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was quite a trip but here it is, it's done! For now, that is - who knows if I'll add a epilogue (most likely but not when I'm so busy with college).  
> I hope you liked my story and thank you for reading!  
> ~ Mare
> 
> EDIT:  
> I'M MAKING A SEQUEL THAT INTERTWINES WITH THE EVENTS OF VOLTRON: LEGENDARY DEFENDER! It's called 'The Shattered Looking-Glass'!


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